Thursday, December 29, 2011

6. Inside

1:

She could feel the resentment poisoning her thoughts.

If she admitted it, resentment was more dangerous than hatred - the former tucks itself away in the recess of your soul, much like a dormant volcano.

She smiled at a passing acquaintance. It was more like a reluctant stretch of the lips, but the other person didn't seem to realise.

Of course not, she thought scornfully. And as if he would give a fuck if he did.

She continued walking, counting the tiles in her head to block everything else out.



2:

She thought that her friend was rather quiet today. Possibly worrying about nothing important which will soon be unburdened on her. A silver of resentment crept into that thought.

Somebody walked past them and smiled at them.

For fuck, she scowled internally.

Her friend too, smiled back.

Of course, she thought scathingly. So popular.

They continued walking in the seemingly companionable silence.


***

Wednesday, December 28, 2011

O



Cheers darlin'
You gave me three cigarettes to smoke my tears away

And I die when you mention his name

What am I darlin'?
A whisper in your ear?

Thursday, December 22, 2011

Feel like writing something poignant but I can't quite muster the emotions.

Wednesday, December 21, 2011

Fat meter

Last time my friends were talking about armpit fats and from there, devised a way to measure fatness.

First, put your arm by the side of your body. Look closely at your armpit fats (the part where the armpit and the body meets).

You know what, let me draw it out.


There. The circled part. There are 3 levels:

1. V
This is normal. Just one fold of flesh.

2. W
The second level. The excess fats create another fold, so it looks like a "W" now.

3. M
Now you're thinking, what's the difference between "W" and "M"? M does not represent the the folds visually. It stands for "Mustard". Why?

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Friday, December 9, 2011

Last Night II

After that dream ended I had another one. In it I actually had a husband. Except he was crazy and abusive and I was running away from him but in the end he caught me in Ngee Ann Poly's canteen and dragged me away from the 2 guys I was hiding behind.

Ok end of story bye.

Last Night

Hello. I am going to start a new segment here called "Last Night" to keep track of my dreams because I have them EVERY night.

So last night I dreamt that everybody was getting married and I wanted to get married too so I asked this cute boy from my school (let's call him QH- Quasi Husband) and he said "ok".

I was like yay yay yay but then he didn't turn up on the wedding day (which was a mass wedding day cause everybody was getting married remember) and I was rushing through throngs of people looking for him.

And then suddenly this guy turned up and said QH doesn't want to marry me after all and as compensation my friends and I could have as many Gong Chas as we want on him so I was like "ok".

I think my brain is trying to tell me that I will be forever alone and also grow fat and die.

Wednesday, December 7, 2011

Wait what

Ok shit people actually got to my blog when they search "eat cum" in search engines. Wtf? I don't want people who eat cum here!!!!

Although cum is very nutritional - apparently it has protein.

Still. Go away, cum eaters!!!

Sunday, December 4, 2011

Bloop bloop

Speaking of chicken, I have new lyrics.

You are the chicken in my pot pie / More precious than apples of eyes
You are the chicken to my rice / More precious than a farmer's rye


y u no hire me as lyricist?!

Mysteries in the universe

Of course there are a lot of things out there I cannot possibly comprehend, like the working of atoms and particles and whatnot.

Yet there is one thing more puzzling than the rest - fat people complaining they are fat in between mouthfuls of fried chicken.

Hello?!

If you want people to sympathize you should at least eat your fried chicken discreetly.

Saturday, November 26, 2011

Clammed

I might as well just stick my head in the pool and wave my butt in the air.

Sunday, November 20, 2011

2011

Another year coming to an end, and all I want to do is stay forever young.... but not meet any pervs.

One sat opposite us in the bus the other day and stared creepily. Except we didn't know who he was staring at because he was cock-eyed -_-

Saturday, November 12, 2011

Poo poo

I want a tiny grey bunny with stick out ears as a pet ):

Zai Zai keeps chasing my feet (maliciously, hoping to nip it), asking me if a have taken a dump,* and threatening to beat me up.**

The kindest thing he has ever said to me was "Have you eaten?"***

Add this to the screaming fits when he's throwing a tantrum and the occasional spray of shit outside his cage.... hai.

But I still love Zai Zai ok?!



*Poot poot 了没有?!

**我打你 har! 我打你 har!

***Mum mum 了没有?

Monday, November 7, 2011

Apocalyptic

I have been feeling more than a little reckless these few days. Metaphor? It's like going to shit in a public toilet when you're not sure if there's toilet paper. Not good.... not good.

Thursday, November 3, 2011

Haiku

Today I saw you
Vice versa: I was found
Unremarkable


No I didn't see anyone significant today - I was just feeling poetic.

I did, however, walked past someone who enunciated very clearly "Macpherson MRT" to random people. He turned back and gave me a creepy grin when I giggled and said one more time - "Macpherson MRT".

The only reason I giggled (an unusual course of action for me, I assure you) was because the same thing happened yesterday - except it was "Bishan Interchange".

Sunday, October 30, 2011

#cynic

Wish people would stop posting melancholic crap they think are poetic. Like "forever is not too long" or "she was his only love" good grief at least get better quotes.

Do you wish I were more romantic? Sob so sorry to disappoint.

Meh

Don't think I'd have to worry if there is to be a zombie apocalypse because I already look/behave like one.

Le sigh

Wednesday, October 26, 2011

Time

While aware that with every passing second I will never be younger than I am at this very moment, I have idled the day away doing nothing particularly useful.

In short...................







I AM BACHELOR FROG #trolled

Tuesday, October 25, 2011

Unsticky

"We're not objectionable. We're broken. It's like we have all these jagged edges that scare other people off, but when we're with each other, our jagged edges fit together and we're almost whole."

- Sarra Manning, Unsticky



Still feeling this ridiculous and unrelenting ache in my heart after reading this book. I am actually a reluctant block of ice.

Weally

Sometimes I really wonder why some people just refuse to say "excuse me" and hover about sulkily behind me.

Sorry, I do not have a periscope growing out of my ass.

Monday, October 24, 2011

5. Contentment

She liked to think that it was because her walls were insurmountable so it wasn't entirely her fault. Yet that stupid girl didn't think who it was who put up the supposed walls.

But again and again she was proved wrong, that it had nothing to do with walls. It was her. Her alone and no one else.

So she pretended she was content in her corner, all the while wondering what was wrong with herself.



***



Thursday, October 20, 2011

Unimpressed

Not a people person, and most probably will never be.

Sometimes I wish there was a cure for this, but most of the time I think of the impending apocalypse and am strangely comforted underneath the fear.

Living by this for now: "If there is a solution, why worry? If there is no solution, why worry?"

Tuesday, October 18, 2011

Only know how to complain

I live in a first world country.

I receive an education.

I can eat almost whatever I want.

I have a house to return to.

And as a bonus, I have things like computers and PSPs and a ridiculous amount of clothes.


And guess what? So do you. Shut up and quit bitching yo.

Tuesday, October 11, 2011

Good grief

Me: I got an A for my internship!!

Mother: A? Is that the highest grade?

Me: YA LA!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Mother: Don't have A1 or A* or whatever one meh?

Me: OH MY GOD


#LIFE OF AN ASIAN

Sunday, October 9, 2011

Beep beep

The perk of not putting on any concealer is that I get less depressed when it comes to make-up removal time.

I am instead, depressed for the entire day -_-

Tuesday, October 4, 2011

Psycho


Bitch please, I look at whoever I want to.

Laselle

*La lao niang went to le Laselle today. As usual, I did not take any art farty photos because the best grade I got for art was......... an A?

But all I had to to was cut and paste pieces of colored paper to resemble a clown.

It's ok, you can have photobooth pictures of me riding/molesting le cow.

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*La and le are the French equivalents of "the". Serious.

Sunday, October 2, 2011

My new song

Tearjerker heartbreaker/ Why won't give me some love
I've got a deal with the phone tonight/ To let it ring

Again and again/ I wonder why on earth
Did I chide myself when I'm not listening

Oh you tearjerker hearbreaker/why won't you give me some love~


Sing it to whatever tune you want, but I prefer it in rock. Something like this:

My life is as interesting as a piece of eraser.

Fts

No patience for you

Tuesday, September 27, 2011

u_u

Can't decide if it's nice or scary to live here because you'll be away from the awful crowd but one day your husband might go psycho and decide to chop you up.

It's like The Shining waiting to happen :o

Saturday, September 24, 2011

Selfishness

All these while I've been hating people for their selfishness - the general public and even people I call friends.

So I thought, "I'm not going to give so much when they don't deserve it." and "Will they do the same for me if I were in their situation?"

I felt resentment so often it was turning to dislike. I'm not going to lie - I still feel it.

But then I realise I'm the same as them - so selfish that I am only willing to give when I know it will be reciprocated.

I'm going to try being a little more selfless, because that's the only thing I can do to make the world a little less hateful place.

That said, I would still like to say a gracious f to all you people who squash me in the train.

Have a good night, even if I don't like you.

Sunday, September 18, 2011

Sent on a fool's errand

Pity the creature intelligent enough to begin to grasp the concept of love but is too selfish to

Ribbet ribbet

My internship is officially over.............................. here comes bachelor frog days.

Saturday, September 10, 2011

Friday

People in the office were giving me presents and wishes and then my boss asked me to extend my internship and I said "ok."

Can I skip Monday morning completely plzzzzzzzzzzzzz I cannot take this awkwardness *flap flap*

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Thursday, September 1, 2011

-_-

Wai you make me do this?!

It's like taking your pants off to fart leh.

Tuesday, August 30, 2011

Triangle Triangle Triangle

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I am so indie/hipster what is this I can't even-


It's ok to be self-absorbed, that's what social media sites are for.

Eee

Hate it when there's pee on the toilet seat. Woman, you have a pee hole, not a pee spray.

Visuals

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My OCD may have just been cured by the terrible alignment in this post because I am too lazy to bother.

Friday, August 26, 2011

xxx

Yes, end every single sentence with xoxo. Of course it makes you prettier and glamorous.

Duh, I mean, what else can the letters x and o do

Tired

Tired.

Monday, August 15, 2011

Meh

This is real
Undeniable

Look me in the eye
Cause I know I didn't misread the signs

You may lie and say no
But I can feel it right down to my toes


I'M GETTING FAT

Sunday, August 14, 2011

Ba dum

I think it's very sad if you're in a boy group/girl group and then when it's your turn to sing the crowd doesn't cheer.

Imagine:

(Your team mate moves forward and sings)

Crowd: WOOHOO WOOHOO *honks*

(Another team mate moves forward to dance)

Crowd: WOOHOO WOOHOO *slaps somebody in their excitement*

(You move forward to sing and dance)

Crowd:

(Some Ah Tiong jumps on stage)

Crowd: WOOOOOOOOOOOOO~

You:


It's like.... you're a fish at the market and nobody chooses you ):



I know this song is like, so over but the guy sings "bapok bapok" at 2:02.

Tuesday, August 9, 2011

Hurr


No idea what they are talking about but it sounds like pretty, silken, smooth tofus if pretty, silken, smooth tofus could talk.

So unfair how come Korea doesn't allow fat girls to be in bands but they allow fat boys to be in bands.

Saturday, August 6, 2011

Pantry Party

When we were told to vote (for one another) who you think will be the best in bed, no one voted for me.

I am quite miffed. Not to sound like a nympho or anything, but

I THINK I'LL BE GOOD IN BED I THINK I'LL BE GOOD BED I THINK I'LL -




Ok la, I'm a virgin *blushes*

:'(

ME AGAIN

Monday, August 1, 2011

Trolled

Self esteem got a beating early in the morning.

Thanks, you have a good day too.

Wednesday, July 27, 2011

Sunday, July 24, 2011

Meh

Somewhere in Dhoby last night....


*Thunder*

Me and Mel: Oh SHIT it's going to rain don't rain!!


3 seconds later....


Me: OH it's-

Mel: Fireworks...


We both blushed in shame and resumed our conversation on quantum physics.

Sunday, July 17, 2011

Spazz

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What...

Balding

My eyes are balding (sob), the mop is balding, birds in school are balding.... WHAT HAS THE WORLD COME TO?

Thursday, July 7, 2011

Piggasaurus*

Just now, I went to Amanda's blog and saw Yuri's diet:

Recently, tvN's e News discussed Yuri's latest diet plan. The plan includes seasonal greens, five broccolli heads, 100 grams of grilled chicken breast, 150 grams of brown rice, and more. The diet weighs in at approximately 1,500 calories per day.


Therefore, she looks like this:

Knn drink wind one is it

Today, I ate (in order):

  • A stick of Kinder Bueno
  • A packet of Khong Ghuan biscuit
  • Fried beehoon (with cabbage and fish fillet)
  • Subway meal (a sub, a cookie, and a coke)
  • Strawberry/banana chips
  • Candy (Fruitplus)
  • Chicken rice
  • Another cookie (Chips more!)
  • Some more candy (Fox)
  • Some Cheezels
  • Iced milo

Bold items are main meals. I am so proud of myself that I didn't eat anything between breakfast and lunch for today. *beams*


*Term my colleague coined.

Saturday, July 2, 2011

Cuz

I know whatchu thinking~
Don't go there

Although

it might be good training.

I

certainly hope not. It wouldn't be fair that my baby should have to suck extra hard while others have it easy.

However

Do they produce less milk than big boobs?

Still

It matters not. It's just boobs. Small boobs will still produce milk.

But

I don't have any. Or should I say, much.

19 and

Starting to think boobs might be important after all

Flap flap

Oh god am I going through the nobody-understands-me phase I'm 19 I shouldn't be I'm grown up I'm going to be 20 OH GOD NOBODY UNDERSTANDS ME-

Tuesday, June 28, 2011

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Sunday, June 26, 2011

.



Whole vid is commercialized but whatever.

Haiku

The night may be long
But my playlist is longer
Alas! Batteries?


Idc have to type it here because twitter doesn't allow line breaks (...or does it?), which totally spoils my lovely, lovely haiku.

Saturday, June 25, 2011

Thursday, June 16, 2011

Awkward

Hi.

I think I smelt fart in the office today. It was very awkward. I am usually torn between two responses:

1. Pretend there's no smell.
Pros: Maybe there really is no smell.
Cons: People might think it's me, especially when I check around for the potential farter and accidentally make eye contact with someone.


2. Announce it out loud - "EH WHO FARTED?"
Pros: Might stave off suspicions by acknowledging the fart.
Cons: Might attract attention to myself, hence people will think it's me.

The bottom line is, IT ALWAYS ENDS UP WITH PEOPLE THINKING IT'S ME.

It's not!!!!!!! Really!!!!!!!!!!

Wednesday, June 15, 2011

Expectations vs. Reality

One thing people should always remember is that no one will put you before them self. No one. Live by this, and live much easier.

Sunday, June 12, 2011

Mayakovsky

1
My heart’s aflutter!
I am standing in the bath tub
crying. Mother, mother
who am I? If he
will just come back once
and kiss me on the face
his coarse hair brush
my temple, it’s throbbing!

then I can put on my clothes
I guess, and walk the streets.

2
I love you. I love you,
but I’m turning to my verses
and my heart is closing
like a fist.

Words! be
sick as I am sick, swoon,
roll back your eyes, a pool,

and I’ll stare down
at my wounded beauty
which at best is only a talent
for poetry.


-Frank O'Hara

Saturday, May 28, 2011

Office hours

(Thoughts at work)

I have to:

Send this email
Send that email
Go to a meeting
Get this approved
Go to another meeting
Call sombo- SIEW MAI SIEW MAI MANDY YOU NEED SOME SIEW MAIS

Ok ok, I'll go buy.

Nom nom nom reply emails do up some lists.

And then - GONG CHA GONG CHA MANDY YOU NEED GONG CHA

NONONONONONONONONONONONONONONONONONONO-

I have to:

Do meeting minutes
Contact companies
Laughing fit
Scare colleagues
Look for - CHOCOLATE CHOCOLATE MANDY YOU SHOULD GO BUY CHOCOLATES

Monday, May 23, 2011

4. Laughter

She laughed and laughed.

It was not that she did not want to stop - it was more like she could not. If laughter were matter she would have been foaming at the mouth.

She laughed even harder at that image.

Yet her laughter did not spring from joy - it was a torrent of derision, with a trickle of bitterness.

But no one could tell.

Crazy, they thought. She's crazy.

She liked to agree with them. "Yes," she would say. "I am."

And then, as if they needed more convincing, she would repeat herself.

"I am."

At this point, most people would have given up - or they would have gotten used to it.

And so they let her laughed.


***


Saturday, May 21, 2011

Saturday, May 14, 2011

Wednesday, May 11, 2011

3. Possibilities

She almost gave in.

No, she told herself. No, no, no.

Yes, her heart begged. Yes, yes, yes.

Conflict was a close friend.

He made a tiny noise.

Though unsure of what to do, she savored this moment where infinite possibilities became possible.

"So...."

Yes. No. Flying turtles.

She compromised and made a noise which sounded like "gak".

"Gak," he repeated, staring at her blankly.

She didn't think she said anything else. She couldn't remember - her mind was busy envisioning possibilities.



***


Sunday, May 8, 2011

Social Situations

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1. Awkward situation
2. Don't-talk-to-me

Bun bun bun bun

Peng san

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▲ My peng san faces.

No la I just wanted to camwhore. But you know how some girls can wink and act cute when they take a photo? I just tried.

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Why I cannot!!!!!!! I can't even wink properly!!!!!!!

Saturday, May 7, 2011

Tuesday, May 3, 2011

The Morbid Mother

Don't walk between cars parked in a parallel manner, she said. You'll never know when one of them will move and crush your legs, leaving you crippled for life.

Don't have a spoon in your mouth when you're walking, she said. You'll never know when you'll fall and get impaled by it.

Don't walk too near the pillars at the void deck, she said. You'll never know if someone is hiding behind them, waiting to rape or murder you.

And perhaps the most morbid of all: don't be too fiesty, she said. You'll never get laid.

Monday, May 2, 2011

Friday, April 29, 2011

WMD

My mother walked into my room, brought in a lethal cloud of fart, and walked out.

I should bottle it up and give it to her as a Mother's Day present.

Monday, April 18, 2011

IPP

Ok, I think. Just wondering if my colleagues will notice it if I wear the same blazer everyday.

Saturday, April 16, 2011

Eh

Photobucket still under maintainence. Seliously not my fault.

Wednesday, April 13, 2011

Hur

... Apparently you can't use anything except for the original tones as your ringtone in an iPhone. Ridiculous. I'll just play it manually when somebody talks to me then.

Like "Hi Mandy where are you going?"

All they will get in response is plenty of niams and ninnys and while l smile very politely.

Nyan cat


niam niamniam niam niamniam niamniam niam ninny ninny ninny ninny niam niam

O new ringtone. I am going to use this even though silent mode makes me look really cool.

Meh

O I want to blog but Photobucket is still under maintainence and I insist on my photos being dua dua so too bad.

Even Wankilily is not here!!!!1 See!!

<<<<<

Tuesday, April 12, 2011

-_-

Played Taboo with the girls yesterday.


Me: My face have your face have!

Amanda: Pimples!!!!!

Me: No!!!! Sutsiam's face also have!!!!!!!!

Amanda: Mole!!!!

Thursday, April 7, 2011

Hnng

I scroll down my tumblr dashboard and I see food, models, hello kitty, pokemon, anorexic bitches, idiotic questions, cats, dogs, rabbits, frogs and then WEHHHHHHHHHH A BOOB.

Wednesday, April 6, 2011

A letter to my hair

Dear hair,

I know that you are very cultural, but you don't have your embrace your roots. Really. I dyed you for a reason.

Also, please stop being such a copycat. Just because my chest is flat doesn't mean you should be too. Unless you're chest hair.

Lastly, it'd be reallllyyyyyy nice if you'd stop growing out of my armpits. I don't know why you like that place, it's kind of dank and dark and doesn't see light of the day.

Lub lub,
Mandy

p.s you may grow on me, but you'll never grow on me.

But


The Loneliest Whale in the World.

In 2004, The New York Times wrote an article about the loneliest whale in the world. Scientists have been tracking her since 1992 and they discovered the problem:

She isn’t like any other baleen whale. Unlike all other whales, she doesn’t have friends. She doesn’t have a family. She doesn’t belong to any tribe, pack or gang. She doesn’t have a lover. She never had one. Her songs come in groups of two to six calls, lasting for five to six seconds each. But her voice is unlike any other baleen whale. It is unique—while the rest of her kind communicate between 12 and 25hz, she sings at 52hz. You see, that’s precisely the problem. No other whales can hear her. Every one of her desperate calls to communicate remains unanswered. Each cry ignored. And, with every lonely song, she becomes sadder and more frustrated, her notes going deeper in despair as the years go by.

Just imagine that massive mammal, floating alone and singing—too big to connect with any of the beings it passes, feeling paradoxically small in the vast stretches of empty, open ocean.


(via)

Tuesday, April 5, 2011

My children

I introduce you to all of them k? In case you all don't know who I'm talking about in some posts.


Gadgets:
Ah Pui - iPod
Procom - desktop
Swee swee - laptop


Toys:
Pickles - stuffed bunny
Rosemary - teddy bear


Pets:
San mao - dead parrot
Zai zai - alive parrot


There now you can stop wondering who is who.

Tabasco

I have no idea when I became such a nag. It might have something to do with not talking to anyone but Pickles.

Tatar sauce

I have realized that I am superficial to the extent that I worry about my double eyelids disappearing.

But you should totally look at it this way:


1) I really really really believe that the society has a part to play in my superficiality,

2) Worrying about my double eyelids is the same as worrying about starving children in Africa - it doesn't help, so there's no difference which of the two I worry about,

AND (most importantly, imnsho)

3) I admit to being superficial.


I really cannot stand people going "Wa, you so vain!", "Why you care so much about your looks", and tell me I am superficial in that sanctimonious I-am-so-enlightened tone.

GTFO DON'T PRETEND YOU DON'T WANT TO BE GOOD LOOKING.

If you already are somewhat good looking, I believe some effort has already been put in for that to happen. THEREFORE DON'T TELL ME THAT I AM VAIN.

If you are ugly, then you must be pretending you don't care about your looks. I think it is because nothing you did helped and therefore you act like you don't care and take this chance to come across as saintly and un-superficial.

Also, you may be trying to make me ugly by pressuring me to be less vain.

Abrupt end to rant I have run out of steam.

I actually wanted to write something philosophical (ahem) like the impact of the society on mindsets (or some shit like that). Saying this so you know, the reason I started this post wasn't to shoot people.

Yes, again, I am so superficial I care what people think about me. SO THERE.

Monday, April 4, 2011

Makeup

Lmao Michelle Phan's "Natural Beauty" look needs more makeup than my "Really-Cui-Today-Must-Put-More-Makeup" look.

But I like makeup. I just don't like cake faces.



Cakeface108 up, 8 down
A girl who wears so much Foundation, it looks like you could scoop part of her face off with a fork.
"Did you see how much foundation that girl was putting on?"

"I know, she's got a cakeface now."

Thursday, March 31, 2011

Weh

Today marks the 5th day I'm sick.

I want fried chicken. Sob.

Wednesday, March 30, 2011

Omgomgomgomg

"If your headaches worsen or are triggered by bending over, sneezing, or coughing, it is important to let your doctor know. Brain tumor-related headaches are often worsened by these movements."


OMG OMG HOW????? MY HEADACHE IS WAS LIKE THAT LEH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Tuesday, March 29, 2011

Army of Me

Whenever my head thinks of a reeeeeeeeeeeeeaaaaaaaaaaalllllllllllllllllyyyyyyyyyyyyy good retort, I remind myself that I am in a polytechnic, not a secondary school. Apparently some people need more reminders.



Stand up
You've got to manage
I won't sympathize
Anymore

And if you complain once more
You'll meet an army of me

You're alright
There's nothing wrong
Self sufficience please
And get to work

Friday, March 25, 2011

Gtfo

We all know that when you ask for "comments" you actually mean "compliments".

Friday, March 18, 2011

END OF MY WORLD

OMG I DREAMT I TURNED INTO A FAT CHICK LAST NIGHT.

I looked into the mirror and I had more rolls than a bakery. My arms were like trotters belonging to the fattest pig on earth OH GOD they were so fat they overlapped.

All my clothes couldn't fit and my tummy leaked out and I had a GIGANTIC MUFFIN.

My face..... the sheer amount of fats on it caused it to sag.

If this is a message from my subconscious............. AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Thursday, March 17, 2011

END OF THE WORLD

The stupidity of the general public scares the shit out of me.

I usually don't give much thought to this (unless I'm on a particularly crowded public transport), but I was working at the IT fair the other day and a man asked me "Why is the re-writer called a re-writer?"

....

Monday, March 14, 2011

Weh

I think it's really disconcerting to hear the 'plop' of somebody's poop in a public toilet. It's like.... you're minding your own business and then you hear somebody's business. Ack.

Tuesday, March 8, 2011

Lotus flower



Learn to dance like Thom Yorke!

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Tsk

"I failed my biology exam today. I was asked to name 2 things commonly found in cells. Apparently, Mexicans and Blacks is not the correct answer."



(via x)

Monday, March 7, 2011

Hur

Don't know why girls like to announce it when they suddenly go out sans make up.

Idk if it's to dig for compliments and get people to say "You look pretty without make up too!" or if it's to show the world that they're confident enough to go out without make up.

Either way, we can tell because you look uglier than usual.

Thursday, March 3, 2011

Weh

Mother: I sweep liao the floor so clean! *pride*
Me: Aww hug hug
Mother: (smacks) Always enjoy the fruits of other people's labor!!

Hana got repeated content la but due of the rise of integrated marketing communications, it is important to give out a cohesive and coherent message, especially in today's competitive market place.

Tuesday, March 1, 2011

Twitter

I have twitter!!1

Ya la ya la I'm a shameless media whore.

Not that I want to kb

A lot of songs have 'nanana' in them hor.

If there's no particular meaning you want to convey in your song then stop writing songs la!!!

Simi sai like that I also can be lyricist.

Nah

Sunday, February 27, 2011

Have you heard?

There's a new acronym in cyberspace - bbzz. It stands for bye bye zai zai. Zai zai is the name of my bird.

That idiot pecked my nipple in the afternoon. But let me continue. It can be used in your daily life even if you don't have a bird - it simply means you're ditching someone or leaving them behind. I believe it is very useful.

Examples of usage would be "He cried and tugged pitifully on the hem of my shirt, begging for me to stay but I was like bbzz." and "Ever since you bbzzed me, my heart had a chasm so deep nothing could suture it."

Personally I prefer the first (active usage, rather than passive).

Friday, February 25, 2011

Sounds good?

I think the next time a customer asks me for a paper bag after I have served the fries, I shall wail loudly and ask them to save the trees, all the while using an entire stack of napkins to dab my tears.

Auroras

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Thursday, February 24, 2011

Maybe

Twitter is this incredible spew of emotions coming from everybody. Mostly loneliness and hope, that's the sad thing.

Wednesday, February 23, 2011

Convention

Made a mean post then proceeded to delete it.

WHAT IS THIS MANDY YOU ARE TURNING SOFT OMG

Sunday, February 20, 2011

Lui bin #1

You know people (those boring people) always ask you want you want to be when you grow up? FAQ #1 about Mandy How answered.


Age 4 - Did not give much thought to this question. Only wanted to eat and was too busy convincing my mother to buy me ladybird books.

Age 6 - Teacher. Not because I loved little children or I wanted to impart knowledge or any shit like that. I just liked bossing people around.

Age 6 and a half - Owner of a amusement park. Had a lot of fun humping pillows pretending they were rides.

Age 7 - Back to a teacher. Got scolded by my cousin's maid for messing up the bed.

Age 11 - Ventriloquist. Until I developed an irrational fear of dolls and puppets.

Age 12 - Pianist (those really famous ones that perform at concerts and everything). THEN I found out about music theory.

Age 14 - Tai tai. Got a F9 in math and felt that the future was bleak.

Age 15 - Owner of a lan shop. Can shake leg play comp earn money. Shiok.

Age 16 - Writer/Author. Mainly because I saw J.K Rowling rolling. Of course there was the love for writing as well. I think.

Age 18 - Still a writer/author. The journalism module was still the most potent sleeping drug though.

Age 19 (now) - I DON'T CARE AS LONG AS I'M RICH. END OF STORY.


Fleeting aspirations along the way from mid-teens include being a dentist, surgeon and the prettiest girl alive. I know. I have achieved the last.

9 crimes

2. Closure

I cannot sleep - it hurts too much. Even the music cannot block out my thoughts. It is not easy to cry silently in the middle of the night, but I have done it.

How can something that is not hurt physically be in so much pain? At least now I can move on - the tiny, tiny spot of good from the torn debris of my heart.

He is not the first, and I don't think he will be the last, but this cuts too deep. I don't know what this is. It may be love. I feel stupid just by writing that word. But what else could hurt so much?

I wish memories could be erased, like in books or movies. I tell myself to bear with it, that the pain will pass, but I'm not so sure. I will always think of him with an ache in my heart, even if I don't want to.

Emotions are what makes us human, they say. I hate it. I fucking hate it. But I will learn to let go, to not think of you constantly, or even when I'm lonely.

Goodbye. x


***


Remember 1. Crush?

Saturday, February 19, 2011

Fragment

Remember if you asked if there was any difference?

"What's the difference?" I said. "What's the difference?"

I was lying my bloody guts out. It was a whole world of difference.

Friday, February 18, 2011

#Thoughts

To sustain purely on hope is a terrible thing. You might be waiting and waiting for something that will never come, but hope makes you cling on.

I don't know, everyone just views hope as a good thing. Isn't it better to not expect anything and be pleasantly surprise if it happens? Or at least, being able to move on if it doesn't, instead of hoping pointlessly.

Hope is not a good thing to have, for me.

Thursday, February 17, 2011

Mewsik









Shall go pound on the piano while my father watches his TVB dramas lol.

Flight risk

I will not admit it without taking a shot, this much I can do for myself.

Tuesday, February 15, 2011

_l_

Seriously almost two years later and I'm still stuck in this rut. Thanks for ruining my poly life. Jerk. Wimp. Asshole. All of the above.

团员饭

Last Friday was one of the best days I had, generally because I didn't feel grumpy for more than 5 minutes out of the 24 hours. This is like, achievement unlocked or something.

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Tastes funny.

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Boob Jelly.

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They got me my favorite cake :'D