140pedia

The new dictionary.

Onomatopoeia (woof)
A word that sounds like the sound that it sounds like.

Nerd (noun - person)
A person who, wondering whom Kanye West is dating, checks Wikipedia.

Internet Explorer (application)
A useful application for downloading Firefox.

Magic 8 Ball (mystical decision making device)
Answer Unclear, Ask Again.

Tweet (noun)
1. Onomatopoeia for bird sound
2. 24/7 yapping of people justifying meaningless life by holding one-sided conversations with famous people. See:Attention Whore

Prize fail

Crispy: "Now for the last award, for the people who attempted a different and difficult topic but crashed and burnt. There are two winners for this category, and they will get a box of clips that I don't want. I found them in my drawer yesterday."

p/s. Crispy is the name of my teacher. Yes, seriously.

DO THE EYEBROW

My favorite ad atm.

Polyvore

Want want want want want want want. (wart whines)

The necklace alone costs 3394$.

John Chen win

John says:
*ask claudia la
*ppppppppftttt

ASSISTANT DIRECTOR says:
*need boy!!!
*the role is a boy

John says:
*u never say need handsome boy
*omg bye

ASSISTANT DIRECTOR SPEAKING

Just to let everyone know, talents (actors, performers) don't really have to be talented to be called talents.

Most of the boys I'm asking to act in my film now are going "Why you ask me? Because I'm talented is it?"

To which I have to reply cruelly "Because I have no one else to ask." and wilt their ego.

They don't realise that the deadline is tomorrow.

Okay fine I shan't be so mean cause they have been surprisingly nice and no one has passed me virtual cooties yet.



p/s: In case anyone of them reads this... I sincerely thank you for responding nicely. (eyes fill with tears)

Blank

My mother bought us both princessy cups.

Which would have been fine, except they are pink (picks nose) and couldn't hold enough water for a grasshopper to bathe in.

Failblog.org

Science fail.


"Rocket science is when scientists find out things about space."



FAIL.

Last minute.com

I am amazed at what the last minute can do to my self-discipline. It actually exists during that minute.

The sister's whacker

I have a new pencil case. Its name is Ah Nia. I shall whack the people in class I'm displeased with with her.

"Blue these days?"

"More like gray."

Love, Stargirl - Jerry Spinelli

Only?

Hello:

Thank you for visiting ReportLinker.

Our records indicate that you attempted to download a market research report (not by choice, I assure you), and for some reason you were unable to complete the process.

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ReportLinker Customer Service

...No thanks.

"CONSTANT VIGILANCE!"

I'm re-reading Harry Potter and the GOF again. (Well.... those who don't like Harry Potter books can be buckbeak's lunch.)

You remember the scene when Harry was dancing at the Yule Ball then Moody waltzes past growling "Nice socks, Potter"?

It just struck me that he can see through garments.

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MOODY IS A LAO TIKO!

So.... Mcgonagall can have a secret fetish for rainbow bras for all we know.

Food for imagination

I was eating a carbo lunch (I'm turning into a potato soon) in school the other when my nose picked up a smell that was not potato-y.

I think it was dried saliva. I hope to goodness it wasn't. Imagine this:

Ugly boy (yes, with severe acne and yellow crooked teeth with lots of plague) puts fork in mouth and sucks for a while, savouring the taste of whatever he bought.

Ugly Boy: Hmm, very nice leh. (rotates fork in mouth)

He then continues to suck it for another good 30 seconds before he sees a chio bu walk past.

He decides that it is not very good to be seen sucking a fork, for that would seem baby-ish, not to mention disgusting (he knows!).

So, he pulls the fork out reluctantly, with his cracked lips wrapped around them most unseductively.

He smiles at chio bu. But unknown to him, he has something gooey and slimy stuck between his teeth (god knows what he ate).

Unfortunately (or thankfully), chio bu didn't even spare him a glance and clattered on in her Bugis Street heels, little grains of powder from her face forming a trail in her wake.

Ugly boy is very sad, but went back to sucking the fork. Yes, the very fork you could be using the next time.

Wtf

I gave my Christopher Pike book away?!

He's like, my second favourite author or something.
........... I don't even remember who I gave it to.

Amanda

Amanda: I don't like plants in the toilet. Later when I take off my clothes they will

Me: Bite your bye bye.

Amanda: .

The pedos can have them

The other day I was on the bus when this little boy sat next to me.

Thinking he was very cute, he began to wriggle in his seat and then smiled at me. I had to force myself to smile back because his father was standing in front of us.

Shit you little kids.

p/s. I hope my braces gave him a nasty shock.

Victoria jomo

Eh you. Yes, you. Stop mumbling about how small my cleavage is. It is hardly my fault.

Woe is my my wallet

But oh, how I love my loot.

Let's see what I bought (just to make you envious).

Patchwork skirt - $8
Plain double layered tank - $6
Tank with zipper - $10
Topshop high-waisted checkered shorts - $5 (wart wriggles in delight)
Black mesh jacket with colourful pockets - $15

Nabei the guy selling the jacket so giam one dollar off also don't want to give me! (wart puffs)

All atwitter

Twitter is good for one liners, I suppose, though no one really gives a shit about what colour socks you are wearing today.

Wanling has decided to let all the porn stars follow her so she looks like she has more followers.

Don't laugh at people hor, she gets free Britney Spears ringtone. (wart gyrates to music)

I am so hemsome

Claudia: Why the fuck does Steven Lim keep coming to cwp?!

Me: Because he has a crush on you.

Claudia: He slim down alr. Still as ugly, no offence to his mom.

Me: Ah, sad genes he has. No offence to his entire line of ancestors.

Never do in neverland

I know why Michael Jackson likes Neverland.

.......Because the kids there never grow up!! (wart guffaws violently)

Pop goes the king

Why is everyone fawning over Michael Jackson only after he died?! Pasar malam selling CD, Poh Kim selling CD, random rental shop also selling CD.

I don't think anyone went "NO! The king of pop cannot be a paedophile!" when he was in court.

Janet Jackson: "He was my brother, my family, and an icon...

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... and a child molester!!!" (flashes tits)

I hope no anal fans are around.

[edit]

....Now they are telling me Michael Jackson's IQ is 110 and asking me if I can beat that. (hums beat it)

[/edit]

Whiz whir blank

My PSP blinked at me reproachfully the other day and refused to start up.

I have no idea why.

Sure sure, I've been neglecting it recently, but it was the one who refused to let my patapons get pass that monster.

Sigh. Time to find that ah beng in Yishun to fix it.

Don't act angmoh please

What's with the middles names on facebook?!

If you have cheena face then you put your cheena name (I know your mother named you Tan Ah Pok). No need to put "Mary Oliver Evans Ululu Ice Mountain" or whatever.

I am considering changing my name to Mandy Booger How just to poke fun.

Hm. (grows wart)