Fairies

"Fairies," her grandmother said, "are everywhere. Everywhere! One could be resting on the tip of your nose right now."

"Have you seen them before?"

"Yes, yes. Now stop asking stupid questions." The old woman waved her hand in the air as if to sweep the question away.

"But Grandma, I haven't seen them before! How do I know you're telling the truth?"

"That is because you're stupid and obtuse, and fairies do not show themselves to stupid and obtuse people."

"Oh," the little girl said, clearly hurt. She fiddled with her plaits to made sure they were still neat.

What a vain little girl, the old prune thought nastily.

"Now listen up, and I will tell you about the different types of fairies."

The little girl nodded earnestly, but continued adjusting her hair. Her grandmother gave the back of her hand a good smack before going on.

"Like our government, there are different types of fairies in charge of different things. For example, there are weather fairies, earth fairies, and even beauty fairies! But there is one type of fairy that is the most terrible of all - the jewel fairies. These fairies are dangerous, dangerous creatures, you hear me?"

"Yes, Grandma," the little replied hurriedly before her grandmother's wagging finger came too near to her eyes. "How do we spot them?"

"Ha! Listen closely now. They appear to be pretty little things, with their glittery, gauzy wings and fine clothes. They are masters of disguise as well, and can look like any other species of fairies should they wish to.Yet there is one thing that makes them distinctive from the others: their sharp, jagged teeth which are strangely translucent."
.
The little girl's eyes grew quite wide, but from fear or astonishment, her grandmother couldn't tell.

"However," the old fart continued, "there is just one way to force them to reveal themselves. When they see a real diamond, all guises will be forgotten and their true self will be revealed."

The young one took a moment to absorb all this.

"But seeing that you have no diamonds, you'd better run as fast as you can. Enough of this for tonight, it's your bed time now. Chop chop!"