A letter to my hair

Dear hair,

I know that you are very cultural, but you don't have your embrace your roots. Really. I dyed you for a reason.

Also, please stop being such a copycat. Just because my chest is flat doesn't mean you should be too. Unless you're chest hair.

Lastly, it'd be reallllyyyyyy nice if you'd stop growing out of my armpits. I don't know why you like that place, it's kind of dank and dark and doesn't see light of the day.

Lub lub,

Mandy

p.s you may grow on me, but you'll never grow on me.