Because I am such a demure and lady-like girl I will not say any profanities on my blog, much less hokkien ones.
Instead, I have decided to use acronyms instead. And because I am also a very considerate girl, I shall list them down and explain (in alphabetical order, just like a real dictionary!).
1) Du lan (DL) .adj
Meaning:
Pissed off; Sometimes used as sibei (very) du lan.
Sentence making:
That girl so ugly still say I ugly, hear already also du lan.
2) Ka na sai (KNS) .phrase, adj
Meaning:
Like shit. Top favourite in my family - I've been using it since four.
Sentence making:
Ka na sai la you.
3) Lan jiao (LJ) .noun, adj
Meaning:
Penis, bird, stick, pipe, whatever you call it.
Sentence making:
(adj) Wah you know the other day got this lan jiao guy try to cheat my money!
4) Nabei (NB) .phrase
Meaning:
Also has something to do with mothers. One of the favourites in my family.
Sentence making:
Naaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa bei (flicks hair)
5) Ni nao hia (NNH) .phrase
Meaning:
Not really sure. But as far as hokkien goes, it's either your mother or your mother's cunt.
Sentence making:
Ni nao hia trying to cheat my money is it?!
6) Ta ma de (TMD) .phrase
Meaning:
His mother
Sentence making:
Ta ma de trying to cheat my money again right?!
That's all I can think of now. Yes there is cb but I absolutely hate this word and I never say it. Like ever. Except when I was 14 and stupid.
Sunday, February 28, 2010
Hmm
Mother: Eh sms 4 friends see they want a holiday job or not.
Me: I don't have that many friends.
Mother: ...
Me: I don't have that many friends.
Mother: ...
Saturday, February 27, 2010
Pui
Rose should stop whining when she's on the board and Jack is dying in the water feel like slapping her wtf.
Thursday, February 25, 2010
M18
Please do not proceed if you are either:
1) underage
2) of age but have a under-developed brain
2) disinterested in nipples
3) interested in nipples
THAT JUST MADE YOU SCROLL FASTER, DIDN'T IT?
1) underage
2) of age but have a under-developed brain
2) disinterested in nipples
3) interested in nipples
THAT JUST MADE YOU SCROLL FASTER, DIDN'T IT?
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Wednesday, February 24, 2010
Hold your hippogriffs!
Wait wait wait wait.
Actually both are opposites - depending on your view.
Either:
Satisfaction - No satisfaction (which is the lack of)
or
Satisfaction - Dissatisfaction
The thing is lack of satisfaction doesn't make you automatically dissatisfied. Also, key point is 'lack of', which holds an entirely different meaning to 'opposite'.
What I mean is:
The opposite of love is hate, but the lack of love is indifference.
But then again, this is the same paradox what!
Because if you don't love, it does not necessarily mean hate, so it could mean indifference instead. Therefore, indifference could also be the opposite of love.
At least, that was what I used to think before I thought about the 'lack of' concept. There is this theory (from Krishna?) that love and hate are the same thing, both being together (as in, love and hate at the same time) so now the opposite of love is indifference again.
I can't express myself clearly cause my thoughts are very jumbled also I'm beginning to sound incoherent arghhhhhhhh must be the fatigue.
Okay brain very confused better go to bed.
Actually both are opposites - depending on your view.
Either:
Satisfaction - No satisfaction (which is the lack of)
or
Satisfaction - Dissatisfaction
The thing is lack of satisfaction doesn't make you automatically dissatisfied. Also, key point is 'lack of', which holds an entirely different meaning to 'opposite'.
What I mean is:
The opposite of love is hate, but the lack of love is indifference.
But then again, this is the same paradox what!
Because if you don't love, it does not necessarily mean hate, so it could mean indifference instead. Therefore, indifference could also be the opposite of love.
At least, that was what I used to think before I thought about the 'lack of' concept. There is this theory (from Krishna?) that love and hate are the same thing, both being together (as in, love and hate at the same time) so now the opposite of love is indifference again.
I can't express myself clearly cause my thoughts are very jumbled also I'm beginning to sound incoherent arghhhhhhhh must be the fatigue.
Okay brain very confused better go to bed.
'Makes decisions in a deliberate manner'
So Frederick says that the opposite of satisfaction is not dissatisfaction. Instead it is the lack of satisfaction.
Actually, I disagree but I obviously cannot write it out in my exams tomorrow so well too bad you have to bear the brunt of my ranting.
Oh wait I suddenly agree with him okay never mind good night.
Actually, I disagree but I obviously cannot write it out in my exams tomorrow so well too bad you have to bear the brunt of my ranting.
Oh wait I suddenly agree with him okay never mind good night.
Tuesday, February 23, 2010
UG AH UG AH UG AH UG AH
I just saw all the rather accurate clues to today's exam lying unopened in my inbox today argggghhhhhhhhhh it's my own smelly fault for not checking my inbox isn't it!
Monday, February 22, 2010
Ugg
Make-out scenes from local productions are so lame nobody even looks up from wanking even if they need one last stimulation to cum.
Friday, February 19, 2010
IT IS TIME
TO INSTALL A BOXING DEVICE AT MY DOOR THAT WILL PUNCH THE SHIT OUT OF THE NEXT NEIGHBOR WHO LOOKS IN.
Hm
Eye much better now it was terrible early yester-yesterday when it kept trying to shut and I kept forcing it open.
Obviously my left eye followed suit and I must've looked like I was going into a spasm right in the middle of the restaurant.
Obviously my left eye followed suit and I must've looked like I was going into a spasm right in the middle of the restaurant.
Wednesday, February 17, 2010
JTFHESIOGSB
OH MY GOD CAULIFLOWERS ARE FLOWERS HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAH
WAIT NO SERIOUSLY WAIT THEY ARE NOT AGAIN THOSE WE EAT ARE NOT FLOWERS YET HAHAHAHAHA I'M TURNING HYSTERICAL EURHEGUHASKGA?
WAIT NO SERIOUSLY WAIT THEY ARE NOT AGAIN THOSE WE EAT ARE NOT FLOWERS YET HAHAHAHAHA I'M TURNING HYSTERICAL EURHEGUHASKGA?
Self conversation continued
Did I just talk that long about a chinese phrase? Yea anyway next time somebody asks me what my favorite flower is I shall reply cauliflower.
A matter of time
HAHAHA when I went to Google Translate 十八岁一朵花 for fun the results are:
Chinese to English: 18-year-old flower
and
Japanese to English (because I was at this page originally): 80 岁一 朵花
Don't know why is it in Chinese but it means 'looking like a flower at 80' if translated. You can most probably figure out (I hope, for your sake) that '十八岁一朵花' means 'looking like a flower at 18' or something like that.
It's suppose to mean you're pretty. Contrary to what they think, there ARE ugly flowers. Like, um, cauliflowers. They look like fungi growth from a sexually transmitted disease. But I like to eat them.
p.s OK I KNOW CAULIFLOWERS ARE NOT FLOWERS IT WAS A JOKE YOU STIFF, HUMORLESS PRICK. Or maybe you're not even stiff. Defensive? What? Who?
Chinese to English: 18-year-old flower
and
Japanese to English (because I was at this page originally): 80 岁一 朵花
Don't know why is it in Chinese but it means 'looking like a flower at 80' if translated. You can most probably figure out (I hope, for your sake) that '十八岁一朵花' means 'looking like a flower at 18' or something like that.
It's suppose to mean you're pretty. Contrary to what they think, there ARE ugly flowers. Like, um, cauliflowers. They look like fungi growth from a sexually transmitted disease. But I like to eat them.
p.s OK I KNOW CAULIFLOWERS ARE NOT FLOWERS IT WAS A JOKE YOU STIFF, HUMORLESS PRICK. Or maybe you're not even stiff. Defensive? What? Who?
Oh rly? 十八岁一朵花?
18? So?
It's not like my IQ shot to 200 overnight or my boobs grew to the size of watermelons (not that I want them) or I turned drop dead gorgeous at the stroke of midnight.
I know my birthday is like, so over but GET OVER IT I HAVE DELAYED REACTION SO?
It's not like my IQ shot to 200 overnight or my boobs grew to the size of watermelons (not that I want them) or I turned drop dead gorgeous at the stroke of midnight.
I know my birthday is like, so over but GET OVER IT I HAVE DELAYED REACTION SO?
You know exactly who's to blame
Came home to find some insolent brat running around the house, who turned out to be my father's sister's son's son. I had no idea he existed until today.
The thing is, somebody should teach him not to throw guitars on the floor and pound on pianos and spam the doorbell thanks.
The thing is, somebody should teach him not to throw guitars on the floor and pound on pianos and spam the doorbell thanks.
Tuesday, February 16, 2010
A short story
The torrent of gushing water soon subsided into a gentle and steady drip.
Pangsai was getting impatient.
When can I get out of this hell hole?
It was dark. He could hear the villi above, making weird squelching noises as they do their work. One villus in particular was making a lot of noise.
Pangsai tried to stick his head out. He failed. Pangsai, however, had plenty of determination. Again and again he tried, yet nothing came out of these attempts.
I'm not bulky enough, Pangsai came to a sudden realization.
Up, up, and further up at the other end of the rectum, Pisai panted slightly. It was a tiring travel from the nasal cavity.
She quivered slightly in anger at the thought of Snot laughing at her.
Well, she thought, glaring at the Epiglottis, she'd made it, hadn't he!
As she was gloating over Snot's reaction when her travels get published in Nosy Times, a suddenly tremor almost threw her off balance. And it would have, if Pi sai hadn't had sticky feet.
By golly, not another constipation!
Back down at the rectum, Pangsai was feeling quite sorry that he had broken up with Fibre. Well, it was that ugly bitch's fault that she couldn't make him hard.
He had given up trying long ago, now content to lay peacefully while he regained his strength.
A sudden, mighty bellow nearly scared the shit out of him.
Never mind that now, I'll continue it some other day. I hope.
Pangsai was getting impatient.
When can I get out of this hell hole?
It was dark. He could hear the villi above, making weird squelching noises as they do their work. One villus in particular was making a lot of noise.
Pangsai tried to stick his head out. He failed. Pangsai, however, had plenty of determination. Again and again he tried, yet nothing came out of these attempts.
I'm not bulky enough, Pangsai came to a sudden realization.
***
Up, up, and further up at the other end of the rectum, Pisai panted slightly. It was a tiring travel from the nasal cavity.
She quivered slightly in anger at the thought of Snot laughing at her.
Well, she thought, glaring at the Epiglottis, she'd made it, hadn't he!
As she was gloating over Snot's reaction when her travels get published in Nosy Times, a suddenly tremor almost threw her off balance. And it would have, if Pi sai hadn't had sticky feet.
By golly, not another constipation!
***
Back down at the rectum, Pangsai was feeling quite sorry that he had broken up with Fibre. Well, it was that ugly bitch's fault that she couldn't make him hard.
He had given up trying long ago, now content to lay peacefully while he regained his strength.
A sudden, mighty bellow nearly scared the shit out of him.
***
Ah well abrupt stop to the short story which I have creatively named 'A short story'. How original.
Never mind that now, I'll continue it some other day. I hope.
Pi gu
Was very bored decided to google 'Pi gu' (chinese for buttock) and I saw 'Pi gu healing' and 'Wo yao ni the pi gu' (I want your ass).
Eastwick
"You confuse me with your musky man smell and I just want to throw you on my bed and eat you up like a crumpet and I don't even know what a crumpet is."
HAHAHAH I like this line.
HAHAHAH I like this line.
...
CNY Day 1 - I found out something my mother thought impossible.
I quote: "Won't one la..."
But it did happen.
MY GRANDFATHER FORGOT MY NAME.
"Your name....what ah?"
"..............."
p.s He doesn't have Alzheimer's!
I quote: "Won't one la..."
But it did happen.
MY GRANDFATHER FORGOT MY NAME.
"Your name....what ah?"
"..............."
p.s He doesn't have Alzheimer's!
Sunday, February 14, 2010
Hump hump hump
Yea okay will stop being so mean and cynical for now. I just came back here to say that amateur guitarists playing their guitars with lots and lots of passion and a really, really squinched up face make me laugh.
Ripping roses
Ooh look it's Valentine's day! I have a lovely, lovely song for all you lovely, lovely girls and your lovely, lovely boyfriends:
Friday, February 12, 2010
A silverfish could do as much
I have no idea why everyone goes into a frenzy and scrabble for paper to copy the exam format when the teacher flashes it because it helps about as much as eating the textbook (will not say anything about the literal digestion of information).
Wednesday, February 10, 2010
And so?
I think no one is bothering to add me on facebook now because 1) I complained explicitly about not wanting to make friends with the 29 people on my friend requests list (oops...not) and 2) my current profile picture:
Which is wonderful, don't get me wrong.
Which is wonderful, don't get me wrong.
The naming of my children
If I ever have a wailing bundle (or unhopefully more) to call my own, here's what I will name him/her/it.
A pair of male and female would be Mucus and Snot respectively.
Three, with male, female and the third being either xx or xy would be Victory, Victoria and Victorious.
Four (God forbid) would be Inky Blinky Pinky and Clyde (in order). If Pinky turns out to be male then he can either choose to a) cut his own penis off or b) cut his own penis off and fix an artifical vagina.
What lovely, lovely names.
Oh wait. And one? Pisai.
A pair of male and female would be Mucus and Snot respectively.
Three, with male, female and the third being either xx or xy would be Victory, Victoria and Victorious.
Four (God forbid) would be Inky Blinky Pinky and Clyde (in order). If Pinky turns out to be male then he can either choose to a) cut his own penis off or b) cut his own penis off and fix an artifical vagina.
What lovely, lovely names.
Oh wait. And one? Pisai.
Monday, February 8, 2010
Sunday, February 7, 2010
Blurb
Looked at myself in the mirror.
Pimple looked back.
Whistled to the canary.
Canary ignored me.
Opened the fridge.
Fridge groaned.
Pimple looked back.
Whistled to the canary.
Canary ignored me.
Opened the fridge.
Fridge groaned.
Monday, February 1, 2010
f-f-f-f-f-f-f-f-f
No idea why all you girls/faggots try to put the nicest picture of yourselves on fb and then when people click to see other photos they find out you are drop dead ugly anyway.
Hnnng
The doctor wrote 'disinfect' in Chinese on the packet of antibiotics. Makes me feel like a dirty toilet bowl which somebody with diarrhea took a shit in.
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