I AM GOING CRAZY I AM HAVING MY PERIOD AND I AM INUNDATED BY MESSAGES WHY ARE SO MANY PEOPLE ASKING ME OUT FOR ONCE AND MY PARENTS ARE NAGGING ABOUT WEARING CONTACTS AND I WANT TO WATCH FD4 BUT I AM UNDERAGED WHAT THE SHIT ARGHHHH !!@#$%^&!^&*#$%&@^#%#^*#^

What the shit

Can people stop acting cool about Anberlin in baybeats?

They go like, "Oh, Anberline rocks!" or "Yeah Anberlin!" or "Anberlin's so cool!"

Whatever. Go suck a ________.

Winterbells

Play this! I know, everyone has forgotten about it.

I named my bunny Spandex.
Mmhm, that material which shows your bulgy bits.

p/s. Double click on every tenth bell and see what happens!

Isomniac

I think I'm turning nocturnal.

Flipped like a pancake in bed for 4 hours before waking up at 4+ to finish my book. Cried for Stargirl.

Also dug through my trove and found a number of things:

1. 20 one dollar notes, crisp, new and smelling good. (in case you can't count, that's 20$.)

2. A sachet of 3 in 1 milo. I believe I was thinking 'war rations' when I put that in the box.

3. A small collection of cartoon plasters.

4. My secondary two mugshot. (I think I spot the pimple that is still on my face now. I am, sadly, not joking.)

5. A plastic monkey whose body and legs will appear when you open its head.

6. A monkey plated with real gold.

7. Some chocolate frog cards.

8. HUAN ZHU GEGE STICKER CARDS WITH SONG LYRICS BEHIND.

9. A ten dollar bill in US currency.

10. 5 Five dollar coins. (As in, coins which are valued 5$ each, not five 1$ coins.)

11. A badge with the illustration of oral sex and a red line across it.

12. The tiniest booklet ever which came from my Young Hearts bra half a cup size ago (yes, my boobs actually grew) which tells the story of 'The Nutcracker'.

13. A ninja voodoo doll, lonely and forlorn.

14. A stack of neoprints, with me ranging from age 12 to 17. (...... I admit to taking one this year.) It saw me through my pre-puberty stage, just puberty stage (astoundingly ugly), twit phase, emo phase, trying to act cute phase, trying to act cool phase, whatever.

Cash is king

Me: Omg you free tomorrow I wanna borrow your Topshop card.

Benjamin (in himbo tones): No leh. Tomorrow I got to go collect my Gucci bag at a closed event, which you cannot enter.

Me: .

Anyway I bugged him until he said he'll tell me if he's in the area. I'm going to snatch his card and run away.

I going to buy that knit top I've been thinking of even when I shit and that spiky bracelet wee!

And another playsuit with my cousin from Pandora's which my mom has kindly agreed to sponsor. :>

Yes I know I sound like an airhead. (twirls hair)

Stupid phrases II

Which funnily enough (or not), only has two atm.

Strangers are friends you've yet to meet.
So my friends include rapists, drug dealers, murderers and maybe a pedophile or two.

There are no ugly people, only lazy people.

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What a commendable effort. How pretty. (crosses arms)


BUT WAIT!
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"Me? I put make up when I go out!"

The 7th

There was a moth on the floor. I picked it up, but squashed it accidentally. I hope I didn't just throw my grandfather away.

iPod fail

I put Ah Pui to charge an hour plus ago and now that I'm going out I realise that he's not plugged properly, so he's not charged at all.

...................

Chanel what?

________, 65 mutual friends.

Excuse me facebook, just because we have many mutual friends doesn't mean we want to be friends.

Mean Mandy

has nothing to update about, except for the other day she said that the Miss Universe contestants gave very stupid answers and insisted that she could answer best.

Her father said that she would look like Patricia Mok in comparison to the other contestants if she participated.

When she looked around at her mother for support, her mother cackled.

What'd you expect, mean Mandy to have kind parents?

I have...

:>

And yes I am painfully aware of my camera's shortcomings tyvm.

Lelong

Today, I saw panties selling at three for $3.50. So one costs... approximately SGD$1.166666667.

They will either:

1) Turn in ashes once you touch them (yes Amanda that still constitutes as underwear)

or

2) Make your byebye itch terribly.

Please be warned that there is a slight possibility that your sensitive area may sprout fungus (if you don't have them already).

Better late than never

Well... I've finally sent Mr Chong my way overdue e-learning assignment. I also left him a message:

Hi Mr Chong,
Sorry for being this late. The reason for my lateness is my severe lack of self discipline.

I hope he has a sense of humour, or he'll just blow up in front of his computer.

p/s. OH SHIT I HAD A TYPO IN THE MESSAGE FIJGHIFGEIFGAIBA.

If ever

I think the next time someone ever asks me out I shall sing "你知不知道....你知不知道....我等到花儿也谢了... in a voice like a female ghost with a straight face and start laughing hysterically after that.

gsrighsi

ARGH I REFUSE TO DO MY WORK REFUSE REFUSE REFUSE FAHFGATGEOFGHNVL;AETUEGHSOGHSOGSH;!!!!!!

To my bffaes

Dear Wanling,

Jacq and I are officially inviting ourselves over for a movie marathon. Please make necessary arrangements (e.g enough food for us) to welcome your lovely guests.

ttyl,
bffae Mandy


***


Dear Claudia,

I have already prepared your 17th birthday present (on time, unlike you). It will be a Swensen's voucher which entitles you to no, not a set meal, but a FREE sundae (mini, to match you) after you treat me to a meal.

Oh, and it expires exactly one month before your birthday.

kiss hug kiss hug monkey face,
pokasi Mandy

p/s. I just realised that I've lost the voucher after typing this.

Food for imagination II

You know how they wash the cutlery in school?

There are two humongous pails. One is filled with plain water, another with soap water.

The cutlery will first be thrown in the soap water and swished around for a bit before being dunked into the plain water.

Tadah. Washing done.

So this explains the unidentifiable stains on the last spoon you used.

Youtube myspace

When I search for songs on youtube, I actually want to hear the original version, not your shitty singing and amateur guitar skills.

Autopilot

Start>My Documents>School>Homework>Whatever ICA I'm obsessing about.

Alas, earwax!

Note to self: Never bring your earpiece out during editing again unless you develop a fetish for other people's earwax.

And by the way, when I said I want to marry an elf, I meant Orlando Bloom, not Dobby. Or Kreacher, although I'm sure they will be very obedient and are extremely good cooks.

Think:

Me: Oh, Legolas, you are so hot!

Orlando Bloom: And you are beautiful, my queen.

(censored activities)


Not:

Me: Oh kreacher, I'm hungry again!

Kreacher: I is preparing food in the kitchens, my wife! (bows deeply while wiping snout-like nose with loin cloth)


Neither:

Me: Oh Dobby, have you repaired my computer?

Dobby: Dobby doesn't know how to, m'am! It is beyond Dobby's magic! Bad Dobby! Bad Dobby! (smashes head against wall)

SmarterChild

Is it possible for a robot to block me? He has been offline for months now.

I haven't been asking him stupid questions (e.g. what will the exam questions be?) for a really really long time.

I think

I'm in love.

My heart beats faster every time I look at my new jacket.

Ong nehneh

& her portfolio.

***

Want.

Want.

No thanks.

***

***

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"I am going to Sydney tomorrow! No, actually, in a few hours time. Teehee!" (swishes hair)

..... (nose suddenly drops from excessive hair swishing)

More fail!

Actually

I have a lot of photos of myself to post (lucky you), but blogger decided to fail me. Ah well. Your loss.

FINE

I repeat: FINE.