Tuesday, February 28, 2012

Xiao

I saw this one facebook the other day:
*author's (wa, author leh) comments in blue.


5 THINGS A GIRL WANT, BUT WON’T ASK FOR:
1. Touch her waist. - oh haha guci guci *niao niao*
2. Actually talk to her. - I don't know, maybe sometimes you can pretend to talk to her so when you actually talk to her you actually talk to her?
3. Share secrets with her. - "Baby... I farted."
4. Give her your jacket. - Love the smell
5. Kiss her slowly. - No slobbering!


6. Hug her. - Kiap kiap *tongs*
7. Hold her. - Careful there, she's fragile
8. Laugh with her. - About your smelly ****
9. Invite her somewhere. - "Baby.... I need to poop but the lock's spoilt. Come with me and guard the door?"
10. Hangout with her and your friends together. - Better don't beo her friend, later kena whack.


KEEP READING ... (sure)
11. Smile with her. *hur hur*
12. Take pictures with her. - Then instagram it and add tags like #love #relationship #baby #couple
13. Pull her onto your lap. - Stripper style
14. When she says she loves you more, deny it. Fight back. - Hit her with a baseball bat. Let her know who's the man!
15. When her friends say “I love her more than you”, deny it. Fight back and hug her tight so she can’t get to her friends. It makes her feel loved. - And suffocated. And it'll make her friends hate you so you'll never have to hang out with them again. Double kill!



16. Always hug her and say I love you whenever you see her. - Even after she comes back from the toilet
17. Kiss her unexpectedly. - GASP *lao chui nua
18. Hug her from behind around the waist. - Don't go near the tyres!
19. Tell her she’s beautiful. - "You're beautiful, you're beautiful, my foot."
20. Tell her the way you feel about her.- "Baby.... I think we need a break. It's me, not you. I don't deserve you."

One last thing you need to do to show her you actually do mean it (? Last?)
21. Open doors for her, walk her to her car - it makes her feel protected, plus it never hurts to act like a gentleman. - Suit up, bodyguard!
22. Tell her she’s your everything - only if you mean it. - In short.... don't tell her that.
23. If it seems like there is something wrong, ask her - if she denies something being wrong, it means SHE DOESN’T WANT TO TALK ABOUT IT - so just hug her. - Careful with the boobs, don't squash too hard. It'll hurt.
24. Make her feel loved. - Kissy kissy
25. Kiss her in front of OTHER girls you know! - DOMINATE! POSSESS!

WE MIGHT DENY IT BUT WE ACTUALLY LIKE AND KINDA WANT YOU TO TICKLE US ... (would like to clarify that this is not true)
26. Don’t lie to her.
27. DON’T cheat on her.
28. Take her ANYWHERE she wants. 
29. Text message or call her in the morning and tell her have a good day at school, and how much you miss her.
30. Be there for her whenever she needs you, and even when she doesn’t need you, just be there so she’ll know that she can always count on you.

ARE YOU STILL READING THIS? YOU BETTER, BECAUSE IT’S IMPORTANT (I'm getting tired...)
31. Hold her close when she’s cold so she can hold you too.
32. When you are alone hold her close and kiss her. 
33. Kiss her on the cheek; (it will give her the hint that you want to kiss her). - Subtleties are for wusses 

34. While in the movies, put your arm around her and then she will automatically put her head on your shoulder, then lean in and tilt her chin up and kiss her lightly. - Video, please.




35. Don’t ever tell her to leave even jokingly or act like you’re mad. If she’s upset, comfort her.

REMEMBER ALL THESE THINGS WHEN YOU ARE WITH HER NEXT ..
36. When people diss her, stand up for her. - Blah blah blah
37. Look deep into her eyes and tell her you love her.
38. Lay down under the stars and put her head on your chest so she can listen to the steady beat of your heart, link your fingers together while you whisper to her as she rests her eyes and listens to you. - HAHA YOU THINK MEDIACORP DRAMA AH
39. When walking next to each other grab her hand. - CRUSH THE BONES
40. When you hug her, hold her in your arms as long as possible. Shove her head under your armpit, let her know you have plenty of testosterone.  

MAKE SURE SHE KNOWS SHES LOVED  (I'm really getting tired)
41. Call or text her at night to wish her sweet dreams.
42. Comfort her when she cries and wipe away her tears.
43. Take her for long walks at night.
44. Always remind her how much you love her. 

LASTLY...
45. Sit on top of her and tell her how much you love her and then bend down to her face and kiss her while you’re sitting on her. 



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