Catalog

If I have learned anything else besides the fact that customers are generally stupid, I have learned to identify and classify them.

You see, there are several types of customers:

1. The Ruminator
(note: is not a kin of The Terminator)
Usually asks a few questions about the product, then stands at the counter thinking until Mother Mary loses her virginity.



2. The Cynical Shopper
A conversation with one of them usually go like this:

Cynical Shopper: What is the speed of this?
Me: This is 5400rpm.
Cynical Shopper: Oh, it's not very fast, isn't it? Toshiba's is 7200rpm.
Me: Well, their booth is over there.



3. The Cynical shopper (sidekick)
Something like the Cynical Shopper, except this is the sidekick version.

Ruminator: Hmmm.... should I get this....?
Cynical Shopper (sidekick): Eh, Samsung one better leh. Got backup software leh.

Is mildly irritating, but something that can be handled.



4. The Cheapskate
He (alright, there were shes too, but lets not get your knickers in a twist over a petty issue) should be the most famous shopper of all.

Cheapskate: Eh, I thought there was a free gift? Where's my free gift? I want the free gift!



5. Mr-Know-It-All

I AM NOT BEING SEXIST. ALL THE KNOW-IT-ALLS WERE MALE!!!!!!!!!
I am strongly reminded of Mahavira when I come across them.

Me: Sorry, this case cannot be removed.
Mr Know-It-All: No? So I can't change the hard disk inside?
Me: No, it's fixed.
Mr Know-It-All: You know, this is very inflexible for the customers. They should make it so that the blah blah blah blah blah I actually eat my own shit at home.

Or:

Me: This is made of pure leather.
Mr Know-It-All: Are you sure? No, this cannot be pure leather! Look at the material! How can this be pure leather? This is not pure leather, you know. Pure leather doesn't look like this! Why do you tell me this is pure leather?
Me: Because my boss told me so, you ignoramus lump of shit.

The most irritating of all. I would cast the Imperius curse and make them kick themselves if I could.