*--*

I wield Benzyl Peroxide and Tea Tree Oil

My paranoia is a million-fathomed moat;

You are foolish to fight me, Pimple, son of Acne!

Dear SMRT

Let's play a "would you rather" game:

Would you rather risk the infinitesimal chance of me, a thoroughly sensible and responsible (not to mention fine and exemplary) young woman accidentally spilling plain water on your floors, or would you rather mop up my mostly pink *cough passive smoke cough* (and I assume spongy) lungs after I'm done coughing them up?

Tip: Water evaporates, lungs don't.

Hollaaaaaaaaa

Holla holla selling my soul for flawless skin hollaaaaaaaa. Ok fine I shan't be so cheap.

Holla holla selling my soul for a flawless face holla~

I feel kinda bad for saying this when there people worrying about their next meal :( But you cannot judge, because you don't know if they are offering their souls for a cheeseburger or not (maybe they are also not as cheap, and are only letting it up for a double cheeseburger).

Usually I try not to complain about my face too much (except for my skin) because I know there are a lot of people who are worse off (e.g those with servere cycstic acne, deformities, and mutations etc) but I keep looking at these girls on tumblr *-*:

I know they have undergone plastic surgery on their entire face to look like that... but what if they were supposed to be born ugly (karma and shit) but they defied their creators to reconstruct a new face for themselves and pissed their creators off so much that s/he made them even uglier in their next life?

Geez. Which is why I'm selling my soul instead of going for plastic surgery, see.

Misconceptions

When I was younger I had some very ridiculous notions:

On animals: 
I thought cats and dogs were opposite genders of the same species and that they mated with each other (meaning all cats were females and all dogs were males to me -_-).

On sex:
Ok.... I THOUGHT SEX WAS MAGNETIC. Like if a couple of stark naked man and women lie close enough together the penis will just go in by itself HAHAHAHAHAHAH. Just imagine a scene where the couple suddenly gets kiaped together by a magnetic force. When I asked me mother about it she laughed for so long she had to run after her breath to catch it back (....ok lame sorry)

Unfollower

Oh yea did I mention? Someone unfollowed me on Instagram the moment I posted a photo of myself (I usually post photos of food and my bird). You couldn't even pretend it wasn't my photo and wait for one day?

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BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO


Hoo

Photos

Ideal photo:

Reality:

.....

Gets better

Like this

And this

Um

Sleeping

Stoning

YO YO YO

Oh sorry, wrong photo

Close enough? 

Maybe you like black?

Here's one more

An (almost) NORMAL PHOTO

Bye

2004

I was sorting through my ling long box when I came across many things - my toy pet duck (who is now ancient and falling apart at the bands, sob), my cashier toy (which still works! Mother also still refuses to play with me!) and my primary school autograph book.

Between laughing at bad spelling and mentally smacking bitches who didn't put me in their "Gold" category for friends, I found a very interesting message from an obnoxious twat kind male classmate:


Mandy, to me everyone is my friend. Those who hate me I am not angry with them. I treat them as my brother or sister. Please change your your character, then only you will have friends in secondary school. No hard feelings.

Signing off,
(signature)


Well ____, I have a reply for you:


**** *** you **** **** *** *** you ****** *** think you are ***** so ***** **** *** ***
** am not a *** **** *** *** is too **** *** ****** ***** *** ***!!!!

Also, I made four friends in secondary school and FIVE in poly, ok? Two more and you won't even be able to count using your hands.

Signing off,
Mandy

Oceanarium

Trying to act cool, end up looking kiam pa. This is how Ah Bengs get into frights.

I saw this fish talking to its reflection, is it crazy or what.

POSSESSIVE

 ***

New hair tie from Daiso. If it's er xin don't tell me.