Clear skin

As a disclaimer, I should first say that this post will not help you achieve clear skin. Just eat less fried food, lard ass*. 

The other day I was reading Bossypants by Tina Fey (borrowed from Elliot, thanks dude**) and I came across this part I can totally relate to. 

Remember the part where she said she's willing to take a huge lifelong zit on her back in exchange for clear skin on her face?

I did that too, except I wished for the zit to be on my butt. Then I decided it'll be too painful to sit, not to mention the awkwardness during future sex. 

Therefore, I wished for the zit to be on my armpit. Guess what? It came true. For a period of time I think I had one there. I'm not quite sure what it was, except it was a red bump which refused to go away for months. 

It went away after I got my pits zapped. 

But STILL NO CLEAR SKIN.

Very funny, whoever is up there.

*myself

**I have learnt recently that "dude" means an infected hair on an elephant's butt.