D-A-N-G-E-R-O-U-S

Brazilian Wandering Spider - This spider kills around five people a year. Symptoms include immediate pain, heavy perspiration and drooling. Often hides in bunches of bananas.

IT HIDES IN BANANAS HAHAHAHAHAHA CAN YOU IMAGINE IF YOU EAT A BANANA THEN YOU START DROOLING AND THEN YOU LIKE WONDER WHY YOU SUDDENLY DROOL OVER A BANANA AND THEN YOU DIE HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHA

Ah nooo

I dropped *Ah Pui into the train tracks the other day >:

I went home and told my mom about it:

Me: I have bad news.

Mum: (looks up from TV series) Oh no what what?

Me: I DROPPED AH PUI INTO THE TRAIN TRACKS!!!!!!!!!!!!

Mum: Oh. I thought what. (goes back to TV series)

Me: I DROPPED HIM INTO THE TRAIN TRACKS LEH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Mum: Hmm. (eyes on screen)

Me: Aren't you going to comfort me?

Mum: Mmm. (laughs)

Me: .....

Mum: (eyes on screen)

Srsly can you believe that woman. Anyway I've gotten it back DON'T WORRY AH PUI I WON'T FORSAKE YOU OUR LOVE IS REALLLLLLLLLLLL~

*ipod

Ha

I saw Steven Lim again yesterday.

I should probably not laugh hysterically every time I see him because his ego is so big that he might think I have a crush on him.

....ew.

Harrumph

Ate McDonald's happy meal for the first time in more than a decade because I wanted the toy and I have named it Sushi. It is also currently my study buddy because I have no friends.

The bunny's body is crooked because the china worker didn't sew it properly in the factory. D:

It's okay, Sushi. Mummy's love is unconditional...... until she gets a better toy.

Pui

Just saw that Windows Live Messenger has this software that can be installed along with it named 'Family safety'. Sounds nice?

Apparently its function is to allow parents to block certain websites and 'monitor' what their child have been doing online.

Another flimsy excuse with a nice title when all the parents are doing is controlling another aspect of their child's life.

I'm not saying parents can't control us, but I don't like the fact that the software's title is sugarcoated to make it sound nice.

Another point: I don't think the average parent knows more about the internet that his child does - my father thought that you had to download videos from youtube and I spent 5 minutes trying to convince him otherwise. My mother then thought that they charge you for every video you watched.

Idk who would still be reading this by now but kay rant over bye.

Wait what

:o

Only yyyyyyouuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu

I come across mushy love quotes on the internet EVA-REE-TIME.

You must understand that I am a bitter and cynical girl and not sweet and gentle like you surely are. (coughs demurely)

Most of them are stupid, but some of them are remarkably stupid. You know the one that says '6 billion people and the only one I want is you'?

wellllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllll, BUT BITCH YOU ONLY KNOW LIKE 200 PEOPLE.

My view stands

Oh oh oh I just went to my old livejournal (Amanda reminded me) and I found one of my old entries:

Hello can all the skinny people stop going like, "Omg I'm so fat!" and "I am going on a diet!" then moan and moan the whole day long about your fats and then complain about your gastric when you refuse to eat a shit.

If you're waiting for the phrase "No la you so skinny!" then you can dan gu gu.
Or if you're digging for compliments like "Omg your tummy's so flat!" then you can dig until the centre of the earth and stay there forever.

But if you're really fat then you have the right to wail your fatty lungs out, I suppose.

...Just not to me.

Couldn't agree with myself more. (egoistic nod)

Another me

I want my name to be Alexa. Or Alexis.

Mandy is fine, Mandy is good, but it is nondescript too. Also just read a comment this afternoon that says Mandy is a hooker name.

NO GUD. I IZ NOT BE PLEASED.

Critical analysis

John Green on The Catcher In The Rye:





Certainly made me think more of The Catcher In The Rye, but I still find Looking for Alaska more interesting.

#Muse

I'm glad Matt thinks this way.

6bux

We could buy overpriced coffee and sit there whole day long hogging the seats like yeah.

Crossing the line

6999) I started the conversation, you didn’t. I kept the conversation going, you didn’t. I wanted to text you all the time, you didn’t. I wanted you to call me, you didn’t. I put in all that effort, and you never, ever appreciated it.

(via SGSecrets)

I may be awkward.

I may be tactless.

I may not know the line between starting a good conversation and annoying people with inane chattering,

BUT BITCH I'M PRETTY SURE THIS IS CONSIDERED ANNOYING.

p.s all you suckers must have thought I've fallen in love. Nyahiahia.

How 'bout it

Resurrecting audacity

I am humorless tonight.

Anecdote of the Day: Negative Double Positive

An MIT linguistics professor was lecturing his class the other day. “In English,” he said, “a double negative forms a positive. However, in some languages, such as Russian, a double negative remains a negative. But there isn’t a single language, not one, in which a double positive can express a negative.”

A voice from the back of the room piped up, “Yeah, right.”

(source)

PSKs

:3

:3

IT A LAMBO :o

Pretty is as pretty does

Please don't let the precious gap between my thighs disappear nooooooooooooooooooooo-

Funny how space can mean happiness in one place yet sadness in another.

Intelligent input, darling

Your toddler is neither cute nor amusing and I do not want to play with it and I also do not like it when he touches me.

I am sure you are very impressed by the fact that he is capable of counting up to three and that he actually understands what you say so ask him to GET AWAY FROM ME.