Questions for God

Questions to ask God when you reach the pearly gates:

1. Are those big boobs on skinny girls real?

God: Uh, just because I didn't give you big boobs doesn't mean those on other skinny girls are fake, duh. Sending you to hell for such a stupid and self-absorbed question. Bye.


2. Not that I'm not thankful for it, but why aren't men biologically engineered to like fat women? You know, so they can get more woman.

God: You will be reborn the fattest woman in your next life to answer your question. Next!


3. Who let the dogs out??

God: ........ The same person who let your brains out.


4. Could you please show me the person who stole my wallet when I was in Primary 5?

God: It was me. HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA


5. Er, can I know who are the ones who ever had a crush on me before?

God: A moment while I check the records.

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Just kidding, there's no need to. Next!

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Eh, I actually believe in a superior being/race who rule over us, just not necessarily this "God" that is the father of Jesus and husband of Mary (I know they didn't marry but...). Or, another possibility is that all these "Gods" (God, Buddha, Allah, Krishna etc) are actually the same person... with schizophrenia.

Or maybe the God decided to you know, customize his brand identity so he can cater to the niches (hence capturing the masses) and monopolize the market....... (except for the tiny segment of atheists)


...... Bye.