Hai

Had to walk with my project group mate the other day. Like any socially tactful beings, we made senseless small talk.

PM (Project mate): So.... you intending to go University?

Me: Hana if not I study so hard for what.

PM: Then what you wanna study?

Me: Arts and social sciences...

PM: In NUS ah?

Me: I think so.

THEN

PM: Oh. Social worker can earn money meh?

Me: .............

Predicament

MUST. BE. POLITE.

tmd why so difficult

Mahatma Gandhi, as you know, walked barefoot most of the time, which produced an impressive set of calluses on his feet. He also ate very little, which made him rather frail and with his odd diet, he suffered from bad breath. This made him... a super-calloused fragile mystic hexed by halitosis.

(via)

HAHAHAHAAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAAHHAHA

lolololol

Toward the end of Sunday service, the Minister asked, ' How many of you have forgiven your enemies? '

80% held up their hands.

The Minister then repeated his question. All responded this time, except one small elderly lady.

'Mrs. Neely?'; ' Are you not willing to forgive your enemies? '

'I don't have any,' She replied, smiling sweetly.

'Mrs. Neely, that is very unusual. How old are you? '

'Ninety-eight, 'she replied. The congregation stood up and clapped their hands.

'Oh, Mrs. Neely, would you please come down in front & tell us all how a person can live ninety-eight years & not have an enemy in the world? '

The little sweetheart of a lady tottered down the aisle, faced the congregation, and said, ' I outlived the bitches. '

(via)

Vai

Don't know why people go clubbing drinking partying or whatever must announce on facebook twitter tumblr or whatever.

You think very cool is it?

YOU THOUGHT WRONG.

HAI

Somebody told me that he thought "no double dipping" meant that you could not try the same sauce twice. BUT apparently you can dip the fry you have sucked on into another sauce (meant for sampling, which means everybody dips in it)?!

VAI U NO BRAIN?!

USS!

Your boyfriend.

Like a cool nia

MY WORKLOAD IS WOAH WOAH WOAH AND I'M LIKE BUA BUA BUA*

*bua (hokkien): grind

Deng

WHO DIED AND MADE HER THE PIANO GOD?

Biz law yo

"The Executive is made up of the President, the Prime Minister and his Cabinet."

I know this is very childish, but imagine the Prime Minister's real cabinet talking in court ok HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAH

Tch

I have NO IDEA why but it seems like a lot of people like to quote random bible quotes on their facebook status and A LOT of people like them.

If I wanted to read biblical quotes or hear people praise God I would have gone to the church.

Hello, it's facebook, not the Jesus Network.

Glee

Fav song for the entire season.

Pah

People like to make lousy excuses for their lousy English like "Sorry for my horrible English I'm French." or "Sorry for my English I only learnt it for 2 years."

So next time I make her horrible grammar mistake I can just say "Sorry ah I chinese no can speak Engreesh?"

没门儿!!!!

See

Ooooooooooooooooooh because I am such a good reader I went to read my old journal again and I saw my old ambition:

"I think I shall marry five men (simultaneously) in the future, consisting of a renowned chef, a top hairdresser, a super computer technician, the owner of a gazillion chain of clothes stores like Ralph Lauren and a hot doctor."

YOU GO GIRL (thrusts hips)

Take your authority and shove it up your ass.

Limerick

There was once a boy named Pipe
Who shunned convention like vampires shun light
He saw that all breathed for oxygen intake
So the silly boy said "My mark shall be made!
And he stopped breathing and died

Update

Is lazy to update.

Witless

My dear neighbor, is it not obvious enough that I have no wish to engage in inane conversation with you when my answers are but mm and ah?

p.s I also do not care what school the daughter of the person living on the 14th floor went to, thanks.

Timbre/Cruise

Ok skin does not like alcohol. Noted. You don't have to grow several big bumps just to prove your point.





Bought Pickles along for the trip.


Almost got forced to take a picture with the stupid mascot even though I pushed him away. Snapped at the him and walked away. Hen hao.

On iPads

I've realised that most iPad users like to play their iPad in the MRTs.

And then they will proceed to glance up obnoxiously to see if anyone if checking them and their shiny new gadget out or as if to say "LOOK! I'VE GOT AN IPAD!"

We can all see you bought an overpriced chunk of metal, thanks.

Oh no

San mao has been sneezing non stop lately and my father says he's very sick. There's a possibility he might not have long to live I am very worried over the bird ok DON'T LAUGH.

Also have finally managed to take a picture of my school's botak bird. Would have been nicer if a lecturer hadn't seen me creeping after the bird and talking to myself.

"Oei 不要走先我要跟你拍照!!"

Halloween!

We met Taylor Momsen's brother that night:

.

.

.

.

.

.

.

.

.

.

.

.

.

.

.

.

.

.

.

.

.

.

I secretly think he has the potential to be good looking.

She iz not be pleased.

Mad hatter with not enough cheekbones.

Eee don't like dolls.

My wallet is raped beyond repair.