*--*

I wield Benzyl Peroxide and Tea Tree Oil

My paranoia is a million-fathomed moat;

You are foolish to fight me, Pimple, son of Acne!

Dear SMRT

Let's play a "would you rather" game:

Would you rather risk the infinitesimal chance of me, a thoroughly sensible and responsible (not to mention fine and exemplary) young woman accidentally spilling plain water on your floors, or would you rather mop up my mostly pink *cough passive smoke cough* (and I assume spongy) lungs after I'm done coughing them up?

Tip: Water evaporates, lungs don't.

Hollaaaaaaaaa

Holla holla selling my soul for flawless skin hollaaaaaaaa. Ok fine I shan't be so cheap.

Holla holla selling my soul for a flawless face holla~

I feel kinda bad for saying this when there people worrying about their next meal :( But you cannot judge, because you don't know if they are offering their souls for a cheeseburger or not (maybe they are also not as cheap, and are only letting it up for a double cheeseburger).

Usually I try not to complain about my face too much (except for my skin) because I know there are a lot of people who are worse off (e.g those with servere cycstic acne, deformities, and mutations etc) but I keep looking at these girls on tumblr *-*:

I know they have undergone plastic surgery on their entire face to look like that... but what if they were supposed to be born ugly (karma and shit) but they defied their creators to reconstruct a new face for themselves and pissed their creators off so much that s/he made them even uglier in their next life?

Geez. Which is why I'm selling my soul instead of going for plastic surgery, see.

Misconceptions

When I was younger I had some very ridiculous notions:

On animals: 
I thought cats and dogs were opposite genders of the same species and that they mated with each other (meaning all cats were females and all dogs were males to me -_-).

On sex:
Ok.... I THOUGHT SEX WAS MAGNETIC. Like if a couple of stark naked man and women lie close enough together the penis will just go in by itself HAHAHAHAHAHAH. Just imagine a scene where the couple suddenly gets kiaped together by a magnetic force. When I asked me mother about it she laughed for so long she had to run after her breath to catch it back (....ok lame sorry)

Unfollower

Oh yea did I mention? Someone unfollowed me on Instagram the moment I posted a photo of myself (I usually post photos of food and my bird). You couldn't even pretend it wasn't my photo and wait for one day?

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BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO


Hoo

Photos

Ideal photo:

Reality:

.....

Gets better

Like this

And this

Um

Sleeping

Stoning

YO YO YO

Oh sorry, wrong photo

Close enough? 

Maybe you like black?

Here's one more

An (almost) NORMAL PHOTO

Bye

2004

I was sorting through my ling long box when I came across many things - my toy pet duck (who is now ancient and falling apart at the bands, sob), my cashier toy (which still works! Mother also still refuses to play with me!) and my primary school autograph book.

Between laughing at bad spelling and mentally smacking bitches who didn't put me in their "Gold" category for friends, I found a very interesting message from an obnoxious twat kind male classmate:


Mandy, to me everyone is my friend. Those who hate me I am not angry with them. I treat them as my brother or sister. Please change your your character, then only you will have friends in secondary school. No hard feelings.

Signing off,
(signature)


Well ____, I have a reply for you:


**** *** you **** **** *** *** you ****** *** think you are ***** so ***** **** *** ***
** am not a *** **** *** *** is too **** *** ****** ***** *** ***!!!!

Also, I made four friends in secondary school and FIVE in poly, ok? Two more and you won't even be able to count using your hands.

Signing off,
Mandy

Oceanarium

Trying to act cool, end up looking kiam pa. This is how Ah Bengs get into frights.

I saw this fish talking to its reflection, is it crazy or what.

POSSESSIVE

 ***

New hair tie from Daiso. If it's er xin don't tell me.

Bali

These are half the pictures I took on the entire trip (and the other 2 are the same) so END OF BLOGPOST SAYONARAAAAAAA

On smoking

This morning I saw a status on facebook (where else, really) complaining about NEA and the smoking restrictions they impose.

The guy complained about the fines (for both littering cigarettes and smoking), the prohibited smoking areas and concluded that NEA's main aim was to get the citizens to "pay and pay". 

OKAY.

1. Fine for littering cigarettes

IS IT NOT BASIC COURTESY AND CONSIDERATION TO NOT LITTER? OBVIOUSLY YOU GET FINED WHEN YOU LITTER. THIS IS HOW SINGAPORE IS KEPT RELATIVELY CLEAN, YOU BUMBLING BABOON.

2. Fine for prohibited smoking areas
If the area is a non-smoking area, then you don't smoke! If you want to disregard the law then obviously you pay a fine. Not happy about it? GO TAKE OVER THE NEA LA.

3. Banning of smoking in HDB corridors , void decks, and sheltered walkways.

GOOD JOB NEA. Do you know how many times in the past when I was walking to NYP via a walkway (the only walkway, unless I walk on the road) teeming with students that I encountered some one inconsiderate enough to smoke as they walk along? ALMOST EVERYDAY. 

Some of these small-balled dipshits were actually walking with a swag as they blew the smoke at the crowd (and in my face). IF YOU WANT TO SMOKE YOU STAND IN A CORNER AND GET LUNG CANCER ALL BY YOURSELF, NOT SPREAD IT TO EVERYBODY.

If you want to argue that the place is public and that you can do whatever you want (including smoking), then I say you have never been taught basic courtesy. Would you like it if I farted stink bombs continuously as I walk in front of you? And it's not even the same because FARTS DON'T CAUSE CANCER.

4. Jeering for NEA to come up with a "no smoking in public" rule since so many places are banned, and concluding that NEA wants to suck the citizens of their money.

If NEA really does come up with such a rule, you will also be complaining right? If you think that the NEA is creating opportunities to fine you, then you don't let them have the chance - DON'T SMOKE!

5. Comments

The horror, there are actually nitwits who agree with this guy - his fellow smokers, naturally. This girl commented that some members of the public actually hold their noses as they walk past the smokers or avoid them like they have leprosy? HELLO? OF COURSE? WHY WOULD SOMEBODY WANT TO DEAL WITH YOUR SMELLY SMOKE AND THE POSSIBILITY OF LUNG CANCER WHEN IT IS YOU WHO IS SMOKING? ARE YOUR PARENTS SIBLINGS? Stupid. 

Since you say you can do "whatever you want" in public, I think we are very well entitled to hold our noses to deal with your selfish actions.

Another guy said that he smoked outside so that his children won't be passive smokers and pick up the bad habit.

SO THEY KNOW! THEY KNOW PASSIVE SMOKE IS BAD! SMOKING IS BAD! AND THEY STILL CONTINUE TO DO IT.

So basically what he's saying is, "I don't want to quit smoking for my child because I am too selfish to do so. But as long as my child doesn't inhale any second-hand smoke or pick up the habit, it's fine. I DON'T CARE ABOUT OTHER CHILDREN."

AND YOU THINK YOUR CHILD CANNOT SMELL THE SMOKE ON YOUR BREATH AND YOUR CLOTHES AFTER YOUR SMOKING SESSION?

NOW, WHAT DID YOUR FATHER MATE WITH?

The bottom line?

If you want to smoke, be prepared to deal with the repercussions. You know bloody well that it is an action with negative standing in our society and has no benefit whatsoever but you continue to do it. IF YOU WANT TO DO SO, THEN BE PREPARED FOR THE CONSEQUENCES AND STOP WRITING MORONIC, HALF-ASSED STATUSES ON FACEBOOK (although I suppose you can do whatever you want, I just don't like to look at the evidence of your stupidity).