mandymacabre

TEP

2012-02-14T11:54:00.001+08:00

This post shall document the 21 weeks in TEP. It is also a wonderful excuse to put up all those photobooth pictures of myself.

But before I start -

I have to post this. Mark Lee leh, excuse me. Wins Aaron Tan anytime.

Ok back to TEP.

First day in school:

I was really on the phone ok

Sibei hiao

Still cannot wink

My skin was really bad then. Damage from 22 weeks of crazy amount of stress from internship.

"Cannot see leh...."

Cannot see? You wait.

First stopover: print!
For the last time bitches, the print people look free because we plan.

Borrowed Tok Sheng's wig

Looking like Ursula

Subsequently...

No neh neh also must act like have

Acting cute alone at the back

Still acting cute. They ignored me :(

Obese Mandy is obese

Halloween @ Hub:

Halloween, die also must act cute

Grumpz

See my pimples hear them roar

They are NEVER going to let me forget this photo.

More pimples

Don't like it when I get pimples between my eyes. I don't even know if people are looking into my eyes or my pimples when they're talking to me.

Behind the scenes for our first issue of Catch!

We went to Cheers, threw their stuff around and went out again #shameless

Team shoot!

Cass dropped her ring in the toilet bowl *excuse to camwhore*

Need photo for editor's picture *excuse to camwhore*

Terrible nails

Hundreds of other photos I'm not going to put up.... because they don't have my face.

Somewhere along the way....

I DIP DYED MY HAIR PURPLE (along with Cass). I looked like the offspring of Lion King and Barney gone wrong.

Catch! issue 2:

Another team shoot.

Christmas @ Hub

Already in production by now.

Back light. We are terrible media students.

Caught eating in almost every photo -_-

Face

Hiao si ren

"AARON ARE BACK AH!" - Cassandra Ng Qiu Mei (extreme right)

Look at

my cupcakes

I'm on the school magazine.! ... Which has a circulation of 1 HAHAAHAH

Look at Ayin.

Grace the sticker crazy girl

TAUPOK

Now that we have all graduated, I would like to say that even if you think I didn't like you, or if I've had any disagreements with you.... IT DOESN'T CHANGE WITH GRADUATION.

I'm happy about the 3 years. Bye NYP xx

Conversation

2012-02-08T20:44:00.004+08:00

Cassandra: Look, eyebrow guy!

Me: Who?

Cassandra: ____ lor.

Me: Chey also not cute.

Cassandra: But he got nice chest....

Me: My parents' bedroom also have...

Cassandra: What the shit

Clear skin

2012-01-25T10:08:00.002+08:00

As a disclaimer, I should first say that this post will not help you achieve clear skin. Just eat less fried food, lard ass*.

The other day I was reading Bossypants by Tina Fey (borrowed from Elliot, thanks dude**) and I came across this part I can totally relate to.

Remember the part where she said she's willing to take a huge lifelong zit on her back in exchange for clear skin on her face?

I did that too, except I wished for the zit to be on my butt. Then I decided it'll be too painful to sit, not to mention the awkwardness during future sex.

Therefore, I wished for the zit to be on my armpit. Guess what? It came true. For a period of time I think I had one there. I'm not quite sure what it was, except it was a red bump which refused to go away for months.

It went away after I got my pits zapped.

But STILL NO CLEAR SKIN.

Very funny, whoever is up there.

*myself

**I have learnt recently that "dude" means an infected hair on an elephant's butt.

Ya ya ya

2012-01-18T21:33:00.004+08:00

Self-righteous people are so annoying.

"Aiyo, why you so vulgar?"

"Aiyo, why you so mean?"

"Aiyo, why you so rude?"

"I think you really shouldn't....."

TALK TO MY FINGER

P.s Just realised my title is like the Singaporean version of Yeah Yeah Yeahs. Haaaaaaaaaaaaaaa haaaaaaaaaaaaaa

Photobooth

2012-01-12T20:33:00.003+08:00

Hee hee hee photobooth brings out the narcissist in everybody.

Hair

2012-01-12T20:07:00.002+08:00

Guys with long hair are sexy. Long as in rugged long and not hobo long, because there is a difference between Legolas and Gandalf.

It's like WOOOOOOSH I HAVE LONG HAIR AND I'M SEXY. Layered is pretty good too :3

But no dreadlocks. No dreadlocks. I saw a guy with tied up dreadlocks today and it looked like a tarantula coming out from his head ಠ_ಠ

Facebook

2012-01-10T21:20:00.004+08:00

Sometimes I'm on Facebook and I see somebody's avatar and I think to myself "Wa, quite chio/handsome ah."

I proceed to click on the photo and -

They wanted me to go to rehab but I said NO NO NO~~~~~~~~~~~~

Always

2012-01-09T14:11:00.003+08:00

When I see a friend wearing a nice top...

Me: Omg I like your top!

Friend: Thanks!

Me: Where'd you get it?

Friend: Oh in Hong Kong/Bangkok/Land of the gjkgsgbshrdhd

Lab rats

2012-01-03T22:37:00.003+08:00

Sometimes I think that the reason why the society has so many groups (departments in the office, classes in schools, circles of friends, families and such) with each individual belonging to several is just to see how many people can come together before conflict arises.

WE ARE AN EXPERIMENT

2012

2012-01-03T22:09:00.005+08:00

Just another change in the digits, something which happens everyday. Yet this year it feels more monumental - whether from the apocalyptic rumors or the upcoming graduation, I don't know.

I have learnt plenty in 2011, mostly that I am a hormonal bitch with a terrible temper. Er, working on that. The very first step is admitting to it, see?

I also have the tendency to cry for dying/abused animals (OH GOD MY TEAR DUCTS JUST GOT ACTIVATED).

Most importantly I have learnt, several times over, the value of independence. I don't know if the misanthrope in me makes me biased, but I am still wholly convinced that humans are too selfish to love.

Don't know what's with this sappy post, if you've read the chunk you get a virtual tip of the hat.

6. Inside

2011-12-29T14:08:00.007+08:00

She could feel the resentment poisoning her thoughts.

If she admitted it, resentment was more dangerous than hatred - the former tucks itself away in the recess of your soul, much like a dormant volcano.

She smiled at a passing acquaintance. It was more like a reluctant stretch of the lips, but the other person didn't seem to realise.

Of course not, she thought scornfully. And as if he would give a fuck if he did.

She continued walking, counting the tiles in her head to block everything else out.

She thought that her friend was rather quiet today. Possibly worrying about nothing important which will soon be unburdened on her. A silver of resentment creeped into that thought.

Somebody walked past them and smiled at them.

For fuck, she scowled internally.

Her friend too, smiled back.

Of course, she thought scathingly. So popular.

They continued walking in the seemingly companionable silence.

***

5. Contentment

O

2011-12-28T22:27:00.004+08:00

Cheers darlin'
You gave me three cigarettes to smoke my tears away

And I die when you mention his name

What am I darlin'?
A whisper in your ear?

2011-12-22T22:39:00.001+08:00

Feel like writing something poignant but I can't quite muster the emotions.

Fat meter

2011-12-21T19:34:00.004+08:00

Last time my friends were talking about armpit fats and from there, devised a way to measure fatness.

First, put your arm by the side of your body. Look closely at your armpit fats (the part where the armpit and the body meets).

You know what, let me draw it out.

There. The circled part. There are 3 levels:

1. V
This is normal. Just one fold of flesh.

2. W
The second level. The excess fats create another fold, so it looks like a "W" now.

3. M
Now you're thinking, what's the difference between "W" and "M"? M does not represent the the folds visually. It stands for "Mustard". Why?

Last Night II

2011-12-09T22:57:00.001+08:00

After that dream ended I had another one. In it I actually had a husband. Except he was crazy and abusive and I was running away from him but in the end he caught me in Ngee Ann Poly's canteen and dragged me away from the 2 guys I was hiding behind.

Ok end of story bye.

Last Night

2011-12-09T22:44:00.001+08:00

Hello. I am going to start a new segment here called "Last Night" to keep track of my dreams because I have them EVERY night.

So last night I dreamt that everybody was getting married and I wanted to get married too so I asked this cute boy from my school (let's call him QH- Quasi Husband) and he said "ok".

I was like yay yay yay but then he didn't turn up on the wedding day (which was a mass wedding day cause everybody was getting married remember) and I was rushing through throngs of people looking for him.

And then suddenly this guy turned up and said QH doesn't want to marry me after all and as compensation my friends and I could have as many Gong Chas as we want on him so I was like "ok".

I think my brain is trying to tell me that I will be forever alone and also grow fat and die.

Wait what

2011-12-07T20:19:00.004+08:00

Ok shit people actually got to my blog when they search "eat cum" in search engines. Wtf? I don't want people who eat cum here!!!!

Although cum is very nutritional - apparently it has protein.

Still. Go away, cum eaters!!!

Bloop bloop

2011-12-04T12:12:00.004+08:00

Speaking of chicken, I have new lyrics.

You are the chicken in my pot pie / More precious than apples of eyes

You are the chicken to my rice / More precious than a farmer's rye

y u no hire me as lyricist?!

Mysteries in the universe

2011-12-04T12:07:00.003+08:00

Of course there are a lot of things out there I cannot possibly comprehend, like the working of atoms and particles and whatnot.

Yet there is one thing more puzzling than the rest - fat people complaining they are fat in between mouthfuls of fried chicken.

Hello?!

If you want people to sympathize you should at least eat your fried chicken discreetly.

Clammed

2011-11-26T12:24:00.002+08:00

I might as well just stick my head in the pool and wave my butt in the air.

DUN DUN

2011-11-22T22:07:00.000+08:00

2011

2011-11-20T00:35:00.001+08:00

Another year coming to an end, and all I want to do is stay forever young.... but not meet any pervs.

One sat opposite us in the bus the other day and stared creepily. Except we didn't know who he was staring at because he was cock-eyed -_-

Poo poo

2011-11-12T11:16:00.004+08:00

I want a tiny grey bunny with stick out ears as a pet ):

Zai Zai keeps chasing my feet (maliciously, hoping to nip it), asking me if a have taken a dump,* and threatening to beat me up.**

The kindest thing he has ever said to me was "Have you eaten?"***

Add this to the screaming fits when he's throwing a tantrum and the occasional spray of shit outside his cage.... hai.

But I still love Zai Zai ok?!

*Poot poot 了没有?!

**我打你 har! 我打你 har!

***Mum mum 了没有?

Apocalyptic

2011-11-07T22:21:00.002+08:00

I have been feeling more than a little reckless these few days. Metaphor? It's like going to shit in a public toilet when you're not sure if there's toilet paper. Not good.... not good.

Haiku

2011-11-03T22:35:00.002+08:00

Today I saw you
Vice versa: I was found
Unremarkable

No I didn't see anyone significant today - I was just feeling poetic.

I did, however, walked past someone who enunciated very clearly "Macpherson MRT" to random people. He turned back and gave me a creepy grin when I giggled and said one more time - "Macpherson MRT".

The only reason I giggled (an unusual course of action for me, I assure you) was because the same thing happened yesterday - except it was "Bishan Interchange".

#cynic

2011-10-30T21:49:00.003+08:00

Wish people would stop posting melancholic crap they think are poetic. Like "forever is not too long" or "she was his only love" good grief at least get better quotes.

Do you wish I were more romantic? Sob so sorry to disappoint.

Meh

2011-10-30T21:48:00.003+08:00

Don't think I'd have to worry if there is to be a zombie apocalypse because I already look/behave like one.

Le sigh

Time

2011-10-26T19:34:00.006+08:00

While aware that with every passing second I will never be younger than I am at this very moment, I have idled the day away doing nothing particularly useful.

In short...................

I AM BACHELOR FROG #trolled

Unsticky

2011-10-25T21:24:00.005+08:00

"We're not objectionable. We're broken. It's like we have all these jagged edges that scare other people off, but when we're with each other, our jagged edges fit together and we're almost whole."

- Sarra Manning, Unsticky

Still feeling this ridiculous and unrelenting ache in my heart after reading this book. I am actually a reluctant block of ice.

Weally

2011-10-25T20:52:00.003+08:00

Sometimes I really wonder why some people just refuse to say "excuse me" and hover about sulkily behind me.

Sorry, I do not have a periscope growing out of my ass.

5. Contentment

2011-10-24T20:08:00.003+08:00

She liked to think that it was because her walls were insurmountable so it wasn't entirely her fault. Yet that stupid girl didn't think who it was who put up the supposed walls.

But again and again she was proved wrong, that it had nothing to do with walls. It was her. Her alone and no one else.

So she pretended she was content in her corner, all the while wondering what was wrong with herself.

***

4. Laughter

Unimpressed

2011-10-20T23:48:00.002+08:00

Not a people person, and most probably will never be.

Sometimes I wish there was a cure for this, but most of the time I think of the impending apocalypse and am strangely comforted underneath the fear.

Living by this for now: "If there is a solution, why worry? If there is no solution, why worry?"

Only know how to complain

2011-10-18T23:08:00.006+08:00

I live in a first world country.

I receive an education.

I can eat almost whatever I want.

I have a house to return to.

And as a bonus, I have things like computers and PSPs and a ridiculous amount of clothes.

And guess what? So do you. Shut up and quit bitching yo.

Good grief

2011-10-11T22:14:00.005+08:00

Me: I got an A for my internship!!

Mother: A? Is that the highest grade?

Me: YA LA!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Mother: Don't have A1 or A* or whatever one meh?

Me: OH MY GOD

#LIFE OF AN ASIAN

Beep beep

2011-10-09T16:26:00.004+08:00

The perk of not putting on any concealer is that I get less depressed when it comes to make-up removal time.

I am instead, depressed for the entire day -_-

Psycho

2011-10-04T22:22:00.001+08:00

Bitch please, I look at whoever I want to.

Laselle

2011-10-04T20:34:00.003+08:00

*La lao niang went to le Laselle today. As usual, I did not take any art farty photos because the best grade I got for art was......... an A?

But all I had to to was cut and paste pieces of colored paper to resemble a clown.

It's ok, you can have photobooth pictures of me riding/molesting le cow.

*La and le are the French equivalents of "the". Serious.

My new song

2011-10-02T23:07:00.004+08:00

Tearjerker heartbreaker/ Why won't give me some love

I've got a deal with the phone tonight/ To let it ring

Again and again/ I wonder why on earth

Did I chide myself when I'm not listening

Oh you tearjerker hearbreaker/why won't you give me some love~

Sing it to whatever tune you want, but I prefer it in rock. Something like this:

My life is as interesting as a piece of eraser.

Fts

2011-10-02T23:05:00.003+08:00

No patience for you

u_u

2011-09-27T20:56:00.004+08:00

Can't decide if it's nice or scary to live here because you'll be away from the awful crowd but one day your husband might go psycho and decide to chop you up.

It's like The Shining waiting to happen :o

Selfishness

2011-09-24T21:43:00.005+08:00

All these while I've been hating people for their selfishness - the general public and even people I call friends.

So I thought, "I'm not going to give so much when they don't deserve it." and "Will they do the same for me if I were in their situation?"

I felt resentment so often it was turning to dislike. I'm not going to lie - I still feel it.

But then I realise I'm the same as them - so selfish that I am only willing to give when I know it will be reciprocated.

I'm going to try being a little more selfless, because that's the only thing I can do to make the world a little less hateful place.

That said, I would still like to say a gracious f to all you people who squash me in the train.

Have a good night, even if I don't like you.

Sent on a fool's errand

2011-09-18T20:55:00.001+08:00

Pity the creature intelligent enough to begin to grasp the concept of love but is too selfish to

Ribbet ribbet

2011-09-18T11:59:00.001+08:00

My internship is officially over.............................. here comes bachelor frog days.

Friday

2011-09-10T09:23:00.003+08:00

People in the office were giving me presents and wishes and then my boss asked me to extend my internship and I said "ok."

Can I skip Monday morning completely plzzzzzzzzzzzzz I cannot take this awkwardness *flap flap*

-_-

2011-09-01T21:14:00.001+08:00

Wai you make me do this?!

It's like taking your pants off to fart leh.

Triangle Triangle Triangle

2011-08-30T23:18:00.003+08:00

I▲ am ▲so▲ indie▲/hipster▲ what▲ is▲ this▲ I▲ can't▲ even-▲

▲▲▲▲▲▲▲▲▲▲▲▲▲▲▲▲▲▲▲▲▲▲▲▲▲▲▲▲▲▲▲▲▲▲▲▲▲▲▲▲▲▲▲▲▲▲▲▲▲▲

It's ok to be self-absorbed, that's what social media sites are for.

Eee

2011-08-30T23:10:00.001+08:00

Hate it when there's pee on the toilet seat. Woman, you have a pee hole, not a pee spray.

Visuals

2011-08-30T22:45:00.003+08:00

My OCD may have just been cured by the terrible alignment in this post because I am too lazy to bother.

xxx

2011-08-26T22:34:00.003+08:00

Yes, end every single sentence with xoxo. Of course it makes you prettier and glamorous.

Duh, I mean, what else can the letters x and o do

Tired

2011-08-26T21:23:00.003+08:00

Tired.

Meh

2011-08-15T21:38:00.004+08:00

This is real

Undeniable

Look me in the eye

Cause I know I didn't misread the signs

You may lie and say no

But I can feel it right down to my toes

I'M GETTING FAT

Ba dum

2011-08-14T16:06:00.004+08:00

I think it's very sad if you're in a boy group/girl group and then when it's your turn to sing the crowd doesn't cheer.

Imagine:

(Your team mate moves forward and sings)

Crowd: WOOHOO WOOHOO *honks*

(Another team mate moves forward to dance)

Crowd: WOOHOO WOOHOO *slaps somebody in their excitement*

(You move forward to sing and dance)

Crowd:

(Some Ah Tiong jumps on stage)

Crowd: WOOOOOOOOOOOOO~

You:

It's like.... you're a fish at the market and nobody chooses you ):

I know this song is like, so over but the guy sings "bapok bapok" at 2:02.

Hurr

2011-08-09T19:16:00.003+08:00

No idea what they are talking about but it sounds like pretty, silken, smooth tofus if pretty, silken, smooth tofus could talk.

So unfair how come Korea doesn't allow fat girls to be in bands but they allow fat boys to be in bands.

Pantry Party

2011-08-06T18:06:00.012+08:00

When we were told to vote (for one another) who you think will be the best in bed, no one voted for me.

I am quite miffed. Not to sound like a nympho or anything, but

I THINK I'LL BE GOOD IN BED I THINK I'LL BE GOOD BED I THINK I'LL -

Ok la, I'm a virgin *blushes*

:'(

2011-08-06T17:47:00.001+08:00

ME AGAIN

Trolled

2011-08-01T21:34:00.003+08:00

Self esteem got a beating early in the morning.

Thanks, you have a good day too.

Wao

2011-07-27T20:25:00.001+08:00

I believe I have found a potential husband.

Meh

2011-07-24T16:37:00.003+08:00

Somewhere in Dhoby last night....

*Thunder*

Me and Mel: Oh SHIT it's going to rain don't rain!!

3 seconds later....

Me: OH it's-

Mel: Fireworks...

We both blushed in shame and resumed our conversation on quantum physics.

Spazz

2011-07-17T18:35:00.000+08:00

What...

Balding

2011-07-17T16:58:00.003+08:00

My eyes are balding (sob), the mop is balding, birds in school are balding.... WHAT HAS THE WORLD COME TO?

Piggasaurus*

2011-07-07T21:49:00.004+08:00

Just now, I went to Amanda's blog and saw Yuri's diet:

Recently, tvN's e News discussed Yuri's latest diet plan. The plan includes seasonal greens, five broccolli heads, 100 grams of grilled chicken breast, 150 grams of brown rice, and more. The diet weighs in at approximately 1,500 calories per day.

Therefore, she looks like this:

Knn drink wind one is it

Today, I ate (in order):

A stick of Kinder Bueno
A packet of Khong Ghuan biscuit
Fried beehoon (with cabbage and fish fillet)
Subway meal (a sub, a cookie, and a coke)
Strawberry/banana chips
Candy (Fruitplus)
Chicken rice
Another cookie (Chips more!)
Some more candy (Fox)
Some Cheezels
Iced milo

Bold items are main meals. I am so proud of myself that I didn't eat anything between breakfast and lunch for today. *beams*

*Term my colleague coined.

Cuz

2011-07-02T16:26:00.000+08:00

I know whatchu thinking~

No

2011-07-02T16:25:00.003+08:00

Don't go there

Although

2011-07-02T16:24:00.003+08:00

it might be good training.

I

2011-07-02T16:24:00.002+08:00

certainly hope not. It wouldn't be fair that my baby should have to suck extra hard while others have it easy.

However

2011-07-02T16:23:00.002+08:00

Do they produce less milk than big boobs?

Still

2011-07-02T16:23:00.001+08:00

It matters not. It's just boobs. Small boobs will still produce milk.

But

2011-07-02T16:22:00.001+08:00

I don't have any. Or should I say, much.

19 and

2011-07-02T16:21:00.000+08:00

Starting to think boobs might be important after all

Flap flap

2011-07-02T16:19:00.003+08:00

Oh god am I going through the nobody-understands-me phase I'm 19 I shouldn't be I'm grown up I'm going to be 20 OH GOD NOBODY UNDERSTANDS ME-

2011-06-28T21:14:00.003+08:00

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be happy I will be happy I will be happy I will be happy I will be happy I will be happy I will be happy I will be happy I will be happy I will be happy I will be happy I will be happy I will be happy I will be happy I will be happy I will be happy I will be happy I will be happy I will be happy I will be happy I will be happy I will be happy I will be happy I will be happy I will be happy I will be happy I will be happy I will be happy I will be happy I will be happy I will be happy I will be happy I will be happy I will be happy I will be happy I will be happy I will be happy I will be happy I will be happy I will be happy I will be happy I will be happy I will be happy I will be happy I will be happy I will be happy I will be happy I will be happy I will be happy I will be happy I will be happy I will be happy I will be happy I will be happy I will be happy I will be happy I will be happy I will be happy I will be happy I will be happy I will be happy I will be happy I will be happy I will be happy I will be happy I will be happy I will be happy I will be happy I will be happy I will be happy i will be happy I will be happy I will be happy I will be happy I will be happy I will be happy I will be happy I will be happy I will be happy I will be happy I will be happy I will be happy I will be happy I will be happy I will be happy i will be happy I will be happy I will be happy I will be happy I will be happy I will be happy I will be happy I will be happy I will be happy I will be happy I will be happy I will be happy I will be happy I will be happy I will be happy I will be happy I will be happy I will be happy I will be happy I will be happy I will be happy I will be happy I will be happy I will be happy I will be happy I will be happy I will be happy I will be happy I will be happy I will be happy I will be happy I will be happy I will be happy I will be happy I will be happy I will be happy I will be happy I will be happy I will be happy I will be happy I will be happy I will be happy I will be happy I will be happy I will be happy I will be happy I will be happy I will be happy I will be happy I will be happy I will be happy I will be happy I will be happy I will be happy I will be happy I will be happy I will be happy I will be happy I will be happy I will be happy I will be happy I will be happy I will be happy I will be happy I will be happy I will be happy I will be happy I will be happy I will be happy I will be happy I will be happy I will be happy I will be happy I will be happy I will be happy I will be happy I will be happy I will be happy I will be happy I will be happy I will be happy I will be happy I will be happy I will be happy i will be happy I will be happy I will be happy I will be happy I will be happy I will be happy I will be happy I will be happy I will be happy I will be happy I will be happy I will be happy I will be happy I will be happy I will be happy i will be happy I will be happy I will be happy I will be happy I will be happy I will be happy I will be happy I will be happy I will be happy I will be happy I will be happy I will be happy I will be happy I will be happy I will be happy I will be happy I will be happy I will be happy I will be happy I will be happy I will be happy I will be happy I will be happy I will be happy I will be happy I will be happy I will be happy I will be happy I will be happy I will be happy I will be happy I will be happy I will be happy I will be happy I will be happy I will be happy I will be happy I will be happy I will be happy I will be happy I will be happy I will be happy I will be happy I will be happy I will be happy I will be happy I will be happy I will be happy I will be happy I will be happy I will be happy I will be happy I will be happy I will be happy I will be happy I will be happy I will be happy I will be happy I will be happy I will be happy I will be happy I will be happy I will be happy I will be happy I will be happy I will be happy I will be happy I will be happy I will be happy I will be happy I will be happy I will be happy I will be happy I will be happy I will be happy I will be happy I will be happy I will be happy I will be happy I will be happy I will be happy I will be happy I will be happy I will be happy i will be happy I will be happy I will be happy I will be happy I will be happy I will be happy I will be happy I will be happy I will be happy I will be happy I will be happy I will be happy I will be happy I will be happy I will be happy i will be happy I will be happy I will be happy I will be happy I will be happy I will be happy I will be happy I will be happy I will be happy I will be happy I will be happy I will be happy I will be happy I will be happy I will be happy I will be happy I will be happy I will be happy I will be happy I will be happy I will be happy I will be happy I will be happy I will be happy I will be happy I will be happy I will be happy I will be happy I will be happy I will be happy I will be happy I will be happy I will be happy I will be happy I will be happy I will be happy I will be happy I will be happy I will be happy I will be happy I will be happy I will be happy I will be happy I will be happy I will be happy I will be happy I will be happy I will be happy I will be happy I will be happy I will be happy I will be happy I will be happy I will be happy I will be happy I will be happy I will be happy I will be happy I will be happy I will be happy I will be happy I will be happy I will be happy I will be happy I will be happy I will be happy I will be happy I will be happy I will be happy I will be happy I will be happy I will be happy

.

2011-06-26T16:59:00.000+08:00

Whole vid is commercialized but whatever.

Haiku

2011-06-26T12:58:00.004+08:00

The night may be long

But my playlist is longer

Alas! Batteries?

Idc have to type it here because twitter doesn't allow line breaks (...or does it?), which totally spoils my lovely, lovely haiku.

2011-06-25T17:15:00.000+08:00

LEARN TO BE CONTENT CAN?

Awkward

2011-06-16T22:51:00.005+08:00

Hi.

I think I smelt fart in the office today. It was very awkward. I am usually torn between two responses:

1. Pretend there's no smell.

Pros: Maybe there really is no smell.

Cons: People might think it's me, especially when I check around for the potential farter and accidentally make eye contact with someone.

2. Announce it out loud - "EH WHO FARTED?"

Pros: Might stave off suspicions by acknowledging the fart.

Cons: Might attract attention to myself, hence people will think it's me.

The bottom line is, IT ALWAYS ENDS UP WITH PEOPLE THINKING IT'S ME.

It's not!!!!!!! Really!!!!!!!!!!

Expectations vs. Reality

2011-06-15T04:11:00.004+08:00

One thing people should always remember is that no one will put you before them self. No one. Live by this, and live much easier.

Mayakovsky

2011-06-12T18:28:00.006+08:00

My heart’s aflutter!

I am standing in the bath tub

crying. Mother, mother

who am I? If he

will just come back once

and kiss me on the face

his coarse hair brush

my temple, it’s throbbing!

then I can put on my clothes

I guess, and walk the streets.

I love you. I love you,

but I’m turning to my verses

and my heart is closing

like a fist.

Words! be

sick as I am sick, swoon,

roll back your eyes, a pool,

and I’ll stare down

at my wounded beauty

which at best is only a talent

for poetry.

-Frank O'Hara

2011-05-29T23:26:00.001+08:00

Office hours

2011-05-28T20:33:00.004+08:00

(Thoughts at work)

I have to:

Send this email

Send that email

Go to a meeting

Get this approved

Go to another meeting

Call sombo- SIEW MAI SIEW MAI MANDY YOU NEED SOME SIEW MAIS

Ok ok, I'll go buy.

Nom nom nom reply emails do up some lists.

And then - GONG CHA GONG CHA MANDY YOU NEED GONG CHA

NONONONONONONONONONONONONONONONONONONO-

I have to:

Do meeting minutes

Contact companies

Laughing fit

Scare colleagues

Look for - CHOCOLATE CHOCOLATE MANDY YOU SHOULD GO BUY CHOCOLATES

4. Laughter

2011-05-23T22:09:00.006+08:00

She laughed and laughed.

It was not that she did not want to stop - it was more like she could not. If laughter were matter she would have been foaming at the mouth.

She laughed even harder at that image.

Yet her laughter did not spring from joy - it was a torrent of derision, with a trickle of bitterness.

But no one could tell.

Crazy, they thought. She's crazy.

She liked to agree with them. "Yes," she would say. "I am."

And then, as if they needed more convincing, she would repeat herself.

"I am."

At this point, most people would have given up - or they would have gotten used to it.

And so they let her laughed.

***

3. Possibilities

Boom boom shake shake

2011-05-21T22:05:00.002+08:00

"I would like to ask abou-

"DA FUQ U TALKING, SIR?"

Wood Wood

2011-05-21T21:51:00.007+08:00

Ya la ya la everyday post pictures of myself la

FTS

2011-05-14T14:46:00.002+08:00

My mum laughed at me for having small boobs.

3. Possibilities

2011-05-11T22:00:00.006+08:00

She almost gave in.

No, she told herself. No, no, no.

Yes, her heart begged. Yes, yes, yes.

Conflict was a close friend.

He made a tiny noise.

Though unsure of what to do, she savored this moment where infinite possibilities became possible.

"So...."

Yes. No. Flying turtles.

She compromised and made a noise which sounded like "gak".

"Gak," he repeated, staring at her blankly.

She didn't think she said anything else. She couldn't remember - her mind was busy envisioning possibilities.

***

2. Closure

Social Situations

2011-05-08T17:44:00.002+08:00

1. Awkward situation

2. Don't-talk-to-me

Bun bun bun bun

Peng san

2011-05-08T17:27:00.005+08:00

▲ My peng san faces.

No la I just wanted to camwhore. But you know how some girls can wink and act cute when they take a photo? I just tried.

Why I cannot!!!!!!! I can't even wink properly!!!!!!! ☹

GE

2011-05-07T17:37:00.001+08:00

Oh shut up if you don't know anything.

The Morbid Mother

2011-05-03T23:13:00.003+08:00

Don't walk between cars parked in a parallel manner, she said. You'll never know when one of them will move and crush your legs, leaving you crippled for life.

Don't have a spoon in your mouth when you're walking, she said. You'll never know when you'll fall and get impaled by it.

Don't walk too near the pillars at the void deck, she said. You'll never know if someone is hiding behind them, waiting to rape or murder you.

And perhaps the most morbid of all: don't be too fiesty, she said. You'll never get laid.

Idgaf

2011-05-02T17:51:00.001+08:00

because I (flicks hair) am obviously better.

WMD

2011-04-29T21:30:00.004+08:00

My mother walked into my room, brought in a lethal cloud of fart, and walked out.

I should bottle it up and give it to her as a Mother's Day present.

IPP

2011-04-18T22:25:00.001+08:00

Ok, I think. Just wondering if my colleagues will notice it if I wear the same blazer everyday.

Lmao

2011-04-17T21:41:00.000+08:00

Laugh until almost die.

Eh

2011-04-16T23:05:00.000+08:00

Photobucket still under maintainence. Seliously not my fault.

Hur

2011-04-13T21:52:00.004+08:00

... Apparently you can't use anything except for the original tones as your ringtone in an iPhone. Ridiculous. I'll just play it manually when somebody talks to me then.

Like "Hi Mandy where are you going?"

All they will get in response is plenty of niams and ninnys and while l smile very politely.

Nyan cat

2011-04-13T17:02:00.003+08:00

niam niamniam niam niamniam niamniam niam ninny ninny ninny ninny niam niam

O new ringtone. I am going to use this even though silent mode makes me look really cool.

Meh

2011-04-13T10:33:00.002+08:00

O I want to blog but Photobucket is still under maintainence and I insist on my photos being dua dua so too bad.

Even Wankilily is not here!!!!1 See!!

<<<<<

-_-

2011-04-12T10:10:00.003+08:00

Played Taboo with the girls yesterday.

Me: My face have your face have!

Amanda: Pimples!!!!!

Me: No!!!! Sutsiam's face also have!!!!!!!!

Amanda: Mole!!!!

Hnng

2011-04-07T20:19:00.002+08:00

I scroll down my tumblr dashboard and I see food, models, hello kitty, pokemon, anorexic bitches, idiotic questions, cats, dogs, rabbits, frogs and then WEHHHHHHHHHH A BOOB.

A letter to my hair

2011-04-06T22:42:00.004+08:00

Dear hair,

I know that you are very cultural, but you don't have your embrace your roots. Really. I dyed you for a reason.

Also, please stop being such a copycat. Just because my chest is flat doesn't mean you should be too. Unless you're chest hair.

Lastly, it'd be reallllyyyyyy nice if you'd stop growing out of my armpits. I don't know why you like that place, it's kind of dank and dark and doesn't see light of the day.

Lub lub,

Mandy

p.s you may grow on me, but you'll never grow on me.

But

2011-04-06T19:57:00.001+08:00

The Loneliest Whale in the World.

In 2004, The New York Times wrote an article about the loneliest whale in the world. Scientists have been tracking her since 1992 and they discovered the problem:

She isn’t like any other baleen whale. Unlike all other whales, she doesn’t have friends. She doesn’t have a family. She doesn’t belong to any tribe, pack or gang. She doesn’t have a lover. She never had one. Her songs come in groups of two to six calls, lasting for five to six seconds each. But her voice is unlike any other baleen whale. It is unique—while the rest of her kind communicate between 12 and 25hz, she sings at 52hz. You see, that’s precisely the problem. No other whales can hear her. Every one of her desperate calls to communicate remains unanswered. Each cry ignored. And, with every lonely song, she becomes sadder and more frustrated, her notes going deeper in despair as the years go by.

Just imagine that massive mammal, floating alone and singing—too big to connect with any of the beings it passes, feeling paradoxically small in the vast stretches of empty, open ocean.

(via)